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Guns Don't Shoot People. Dogs Do.

Guns are perfectly safe until they fall into the paws of trigger-happy pooches. Then they aren't.

If you liked our stories about the unfortunate men who accidentally shot their nuts off or the ones who shot guns in their sleep, you'll probably be interested to know that there are a solid number of incidents of dogs shooting people. Yes, believe it or not, this kind of gun-dipshittery happens more frequently than you might think. In November of 2011, a Utah man was shot in the ass when his dog stepped on his shotgun, and this past September, a French hunter lost a hand when his basset hound pulled the trigger of his shotgun while leaping into his lap “for a cuddle.”

Even taking safety precautions doesn’t guarantee you won’t get capped by your dog, as this California man discovered:

The Merced County Sheriff’s Department said the 53-year-old man was hunting with a partner off Highway 152 near Los Banos when he set down his shotgun to retrieve his decoy ducks.

The shotgun was loaded but the safety was on, according to authorities

The victim was about 15 yards away, retrieving his decoys, when his female black Labrador retriever stepped on the gun.

Authorities said the dog disengaged the safety and hit the trigger at the same time, firing a shell with #2 shot. The man was struck in on the left side of his upper back.

British blogger John May has documented 10 other examples of dogs shooting men (and one fox who shot and killed his would-be hunter), including this poetic/cautionary tale, which should give would-be animal abusers pause:

A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver’s trigger.

Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was being treated at a hospital for a gunshot wound to his wrist.

Bradford said he decided to shoot the 3-month-old shepherd-mix dogs in the head because he couldn’t find them a home, according to the sheriff’s office.

On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies — one in his arms and another in his left hand — when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber revolver. The gun then discharged, the sheriff’s report said.

And who can forget the Michigan hunters who thought it would be cute to dress their dog up as a hunter, immortalized in Michael Moore‘s Bowling For Columbine?

Weird though they may be, these incidents demonstrate that guns are perfectly safe until they fall into the paws of trigger-happy pooches. Then they aren't.