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Finally: Ukrainian Official Calls Vladimir Putin Exactly What He Is

At long last, Putin has been called what everyone knows he is but was too afraid to say.

Russian president Vladimir Putin has been called many things: a dictator; a thug; a badassa croonera Hitler; and maybe most damning of all, a Super Bowl ring thief. But of all the labels attached to Putin by his detractors, Ukraine's acting Foreign Minister Andriy Deshchytsia just called Putin what everyone knows he is but are too afraid or prudish to say. Addressing an angry anti-Russian crowd outside the Russian embassy in Kiev, Deshchytsia defended their tormentor's right to maintain an embassy by putting it this way:

"Yes, Putin is a dickhead." But, he explained, "We must fulfill our international obligations, including defending the right of Russia to have an embassy in Ukraine."

Bravo, sir. Bravo.

In just two sentences, Deshchytsia slams Putin for what he really is while simultaneously showing respect for international norms, unlike the dickhead he's talking about.

Needless to say, the Russians aren't happy about the comment. Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov responded while clutching his pearls:

"I am particularly disturbed that the so-called protesters near the embassy were joined by Andriy Deshchytsia ... having allowed himself to make statements that go beyond the limits of decency."

Amazing isn't it? Here's a guy whose government just authored one of the most brazen violations of international law in recent memory by stoking unrest in another country, putting boots on the ground there, holding a kangaroo referendum, and then announcing that the area now belongs to Russia. And yet, the Ukrainian foreign minister is out of line?

You know what else is out of line? Putin sullying a perfectly good American classic by Fats Domino.

What a dickhead.