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THE MORNING BANTER: The Putin Dialogues, Barclays Investments, Patton Oswalt's Tweets, and the Wu-Tang Clan

Happy Thursday! Time flies when you're having fun! Here's what's happening on the interweb:
Screen Shot 2014-05-08 at 8.30.09 AM

Happy Thursday! Time flies when you're having fun! Here's what's happening on the interweb:

1. Ukraine Crisis: Pro-Russia Rebel Vote to Go Ahead

Pro-Russian activists in eastern Ukraine have said they will not postpone a referendum on autonomy planned for Sunday. The decision comes one day after Russian President Vladimir Putin called for the vote to be postponed to create the conditions necessary for dialogue.

And since the activists didn't listen to Putin, he went ahead and made sure the necessary conditions for dialogue were created. These include a steel-caged wrestling ring, a live bear, and old-reruns of Mad About You

2. Barclays to Cut 19,000 Jobs as it Scales Back Investment Arm

Barclays is cutting 19,000 jobs in a radical overhaul of its business, including a dramatic scaling back of its troublesome investment banking operations, where almost one in three jobs are to go.

"In today's economy, there just isn't much worth investing in," they said in a released statement. "We wanted to make sure we were taking the proactive approach and giving up before everyone else. That's the Barclays way."

3. Patton Oswalt Brilliantly Trolls for Twitter Outrage

Louis CK may be every comic's favorite comic, but Patton Oswalt owns the internet.

4. LISTEN: 51 Seconds of Wu-Tan Clan's Museum-Only Record

Yesterday, Wu-Tang Clan previewed their forthcoming album, Once Upon a Time in Shaolin, the one-of-a-kind record that was recorded secretly and won't be made commercially available. Instead, it will manufactured as a single copy and tour through museums and galleries before being sold to the highest bidder because RZA is a genius.

This short clip of it features Ghostface Killah and a voice that sounds like a whole lot like Cher because it is Cher.