Another Monday is here, although this one's a little special because being that it's St. Patrick's Day it's technically okay to get drunk at work. Here are some morning headlines and assorted nonsense to pass the time until your five-beer lunch begins.
1. Crimea says it wants to be part of Russia. Because, of course it does. The U.S., meanwhile, says screw that.
2. This makes me feel a lot better about all those times I dropped my daughter's cookie on the floor and gave it to her anyway.
3. For God's sake, stay on land.
4. And Friday night's Real Time featured one of Bill Maher's all-time most incisive attacks on religion. Put it this way: You want proof there's no God? Maher wasn't immediately struck by lightning in his chair.