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THE MORNING BANTER: Syrian Child Abuses, PSH Death-Related Arrests, Bill Maher's Likely Targets, and Red Hot Responses

It's Wednesday and it feels like a Wednesday. Here's what's happening on the interweb:
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screen shot 2014-02-02 at 8.40.18 pm

It's Wednesday and it feels like a Wednesday. Here's what's happening on the interweb:

1. UN Report: Syria Child Abuse By Rebels, Government Troops 'Is Unspeakable And Unacceptable'

Western-backed opposition groups in Syria are recruiting refugee children in neighboring countries and Syrian government forces are detaining and torturing children with rebel links, U.N. chief Ban Ki-moon said in a report on Tuesday. The report found that in the early stages of the nearly three-year conflict, the Syrian government troops were largely responsible for grave violations against children; then, as the conflict intensified and armed opposition became more organized they committed an increasing number of child abuses.

But because the Syrian government didn't direct Annie Hall, no one is going to write 1,000 word thought-pieces on this child abuse.

2. Four People Arrested in Connection with Drugs in Philip Seymour Hoffman's Apartment

Four people thought to be connected to the drugs found in late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman's apartment were arrested late Tuesday night, law enforcement officials told CNN. Since we are a reactionary society that loves to address problems after the fact, I think we can all sleep a little better at night knowing these people are behind bars. Right?

3. The Top 6 Congressmen Bill Maher Is Most Likely To Attack

Bill Maher is asking his fans to help him find the worst member of Congress who is up for re-election so that he and his show can specifically target them during their campaign race and hopefully doing enough to knock them out of the running. Here's a list of the congressmen we think he's most likely to go after.

4. Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers Addresses Super Bowl Lip Syncing

Flea wrote an open letter to RHCP's fans yesterday explaining why the group's instruments were pre-recorded for their guest appearance at the Super Bowl. His (paraphrased) reasoning: it's the freakin' Super Bowl; they asked us to play, they told us only vocals would be live, and they get what they want because, again, it's the freakin' Super Bowl.

Fair point, Flea, fair point.