Welcome back to work. It's just as soul-crushing as you remember. Here's what's happening on the interweb:
Nine-time Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis says Republican New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie dropped a plan to appoint him the state's first physical fitness ambassador when he launched a political campaign against a Christie friend. Since then, the fitness ambassador role has been filled by a fat guy in a breakaway warmup suit jogging slower than most people normally walk.
Speaking of New Jersey, the state's Senate has approved a bill that would require Garden State middle schools to "provide instruction on responsible use of social media." This will include teaching them things like not to take vertical videos when sexting via Snapchat and how to make that girl you don't like cry using just comments on her Facebook wall.
Speaking of Bills, the legendary comedian opened up on Reddit about everything you've ever wanted to know and a few things you didn't. Say goodbye to a good half hour of your life.
Seahawks cornerback Richard Sherman defended his now infamous post-game interview with Erin Andrews in a guest-column for Sports Illustrated. The "Legion of Boom" member makes some interesting points and doesn't even call Michael Crabtree a bitch once in it!