It's Friday, which means that hopefully you've already got one foot out the door. If the other is still stuck at your desk, though, at least we've got a few headlines and assorted internet goodies to keep you occupied.

1. Job Creator

Chris Christie claims he had very little in the way of a relationship with David Wildstein, the lackey who did Bridget Kelly's bidding and choked Fort Lee and the George Washington Bridge with traffic back in September. Not so fast.

CNN Exclusive: Port Authority Job Created for Christie Ally

2. Sound Off

An idea whose time came long ago. If you're hearing blissful silence right now, thank Google Chrome.

Wired: Find and Kill Noisy Tabs With the Latest Version of Chrome

3. Girlsfight

Well, here's something you don't see every day: Jezebel on the receiving end of the feminist torches and pitchforks. Yesterday the site proved once again that page-views will always trump ideals at Gawker Media by offering $10,000 for unretouched photos from Lena Dunham's Vogue shoot. Since Dunham looks admittedly quite good in the Annie Leibovitz-photographed cover story -- and because this is Vogue we're talking about -- you know she really was touched up to death. Jezebel says it wants to prove just how much, for some bullshit reason, and that's leading even Salon to beat up on them. This is my kind of fight because whoever loses, we win.

Jezebel: We're Offering $10,000 for Unretouched Images of Lena Dunham in Vogue

Incidentally, I think I can help with the photos. Here's the unretouched cover shot:

I'll take that ten grand now.

4. Selfie-Centered

While we're on the subject...

The Atlantic: How To Spot a Narcissist on the Internet

5. Mallet of the Gods

As Lester Bangs said to William Miller in Almost Famous, "You missed out on rock-n-roll."

Esquire: The Huge But Faceless Rock Star: A Plea