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MORNING BANTER: Supreme Court Skeptics, Google Thermostats, Koch Brothers, and Japanese Jim Beam

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The Onion is reporting that it’s still only Tuesday. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

1. Supreme Court Justices Skeptical About Obama Labor Board Appointments

A majority of U.S. Supreme Court justices signaled willingness on Monday to rule against the administration of President Barack Obama over his attempt to appoint members of the National Labor Relations Board without Senate approval, raising the possibility of a decision that could limit presidential appointment power.

“Even less power,” Obama sighed. He felt ashamed. But then he did as he was taught and followed that shame to the fear, then he followed that fear to the rage. “Sally, call an all-hands meeting for this afternoon,” he cooly spoke into the intercom.

2. Google Buys Nest For $3.2 Billion

Google is getting in the thermostat game. The company announced on Monday that it purchased Nest, the maker of high-tech thermostats and smoke detectors, for $3.2 billion in cash. They then proceeded to play Nelly’s “Hot In Herre” and Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start The Fire” on repeat for like three hours.

3. Scary Chart Reveals Koch Brother’s Insidious Influence in American Politics

Last week, The Washington Post posted a pretty scary graphic that showed all the organizations that are directly or indirectly funded by a network set up by the Legion of Doom , I mean the Koch brothers. Check it out, but the long and short of it is that our political system is a joke and we're all screwed.

4. Japanese Company Buys Spirits Maker Beam for $13.6B

Jim Beam, is on the brink of no longer being American-owned. Japanese whiskey and beer giant Suntory Holdings has agreed to purchase Beam., maker of the legendary Jim Beam bourbon, for a cool $13.6 billion. I didn’t know there was a price on the taste of freedom, but apparently we’ve found it.