It's Friday, which if you're lucky is pretty meaningless this week. Here's some reading material for your morning regardless.

1. Party Crashers

John Boehner is determined not to see a repeat of the insurgent lunacy the tea party wrought over the past year, which is why he and the establishment Republicans have apparently hatched a plan to sit on that zoo fraternity of his.

The Huffington Post: House GOP Leaders, Business Groups Fight Back Against Tea Party

2. Smackdown

Remember, though, that as Fox News has trumpeted for the past couple of months to its audience of terrified aging white people, the "Knockout Game" is only played by black kids and is always directed at whites.

The Smoking Gun: Texas Man, 27, Charged With Federal Hate Crime For "Knockout Game" Attack On 79-Year-Old Victim

3. The Devil & the Details

In keeping with the holiday theme -- wait, The Exorcist was released the day after fucking Christmas?

Moviefone: "The Exorcist" Turns 40: 25 Things You Didn't Know About the Terrifying Horror Classic

4. Reading is Fundamental

And because we're all still somewhat on vacation here, may as well outsource even this segment to somebody else.

Spin: Spin's Best #Longreads of 2013

Have a good weekend, all.