Hopefully if you're reading this at all you're doing it from your couch or maybe at the airport on your way someplace nice for Christmas. Either way, here's your abridged reading material for the day.
1. Crash Landing
If you paid any attention to the internet at all over the weekend you know the story of Justine Sacco, previously a big-shot PR executive but a relative nobody in social media circles. All it took was one tweet to make her, sincerely, the biggest thing on Earth for about 12 hours. Here's a quick refresher if you missed out on the insanity; I'll have a deeper look at this later today.
Remember that paint-by-numbers George Zimmerman "original" that was up for auction on eBay? Well it sold this weekend. For more than a hundred-grand. Fuck you, world.
3. Pass Aggression
Peyton Manning is now better than Tom Brady. But he's still not sleeping with Gisele Bundchen.
4. Best Medicine
If this is true, I'm Superman.
Have a great day, folks.