Hopefully if you're reading this at all you're doing it from your couch or maybe at the airport on your way someplace nice for Christmas. Either way, here's your abridged reading material for the day.

1. Crash Landing

If you paid any attention to the internet at all over the weekend you know the story of Justine Sacco, previously a big-shot PR executive but a relative nobody in social media circles. All it took was one tweet to make her, sincerely, the biggest thing on Earth for about 12 hours. Here's a quick refresher if you missed out on the insanity; I'll have a deeper look at this later today.

Buzzfeed: This Is How a Woman's Offensive Tweet Became the World's Top Story

2. Picasshole

Remember that paint-by-numbers George Zimmerman "original" that was up for auction on eBay? Well it sold this weekend. For more than a hundred-grand. Fuck you, world.

Gawker: George Zimmerman Painting Sells For $100,099.99

3. Pass Aggression

Peyton Manning is now better than Tom Brady. But he's still not sleeping with Gisele Bundchen.

The Huffington Post: Peyton Manning Breaks Tom Brady's NFL Record For Touchdown Passes In A Single Season With 51

4. Best Medicine

If this is true, I'm Superman.

Mother Jones: Science Says: Cocktails Could Protect You From Getting Sick

Have a great day, folks.