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Just F*cking Google It: DMT (The "God Drug") Edition

An interview with everyone's favorite search engine to find out more about DMT, The "God Drug"
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Last October, I discovered a beautiful acronym: JFGI.

It stood for "Just F*cking Google It," and it helped me learn a lot about fashion photographer/professional pervert Terry Richardson. So when I came across a few articles talking about the rising popularity of DMT, which has been nicknamed "The God Drug," I decided to go back and interview everyone's favorite search engine to find out more about this powerful psychedelic...

Bryce Taylor Rudow:  Google! Long time no type. When’s the last time we really sat down and chatted?

Google:  You were wondering about sexy college co-...

BTR:  Yo! What the hell?! I’m pretty sure that conversation was Incognito, Google.

Google:  Oh right, my bad. You know how I am with keeping your data private…

BTR:  It’s okay. I’m sure the NSA has more important things to do, like playing Warcraft or something. Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about this thing called DMT I just read about. I think it’s actually called di-methol tryptamine, if that helps.

Google:  Did you mean di-methyl triptamine?

BTR:  I sure did; thanks for the assist. So what is it?

Google:  Dimethyltryptamine (DMT or N,N-DMT) is a psychedelic compound of the tryptamine family.

BTR: So it’s a drug of some kind?

Google:  Functionally, DMT is analogous to the neurotransmitter serotonin, the hormone melatonin, and other psychedelic tryptamines.

BTR:  Is it a natural compound or is this some Walter White shit we're talking about?

Google:  Its presence is widespread throughout the plant kingdom. DMT occurs in trace amounts in mammals, including humans, where it putatively functions as a trace amine neurotransmitter/neuromodulator.

BTR:  A what? Stop using big words, Google. We don’t all have built-in dictionaries.

Google:  Basically, everytime you go to sleep, a part of your brain produces this chemical and the product that we endure is our dreams. DMT is the drug which causes your dreams at night.

BTR:  A dream drug? Cool. What is it like to use it?

Google:  The high can best be defined as a super-intense, half-hour trip. Subjectively its "mental profile" is like that of mushrooms but its "visual profile" is like acid.

BTR:  Fascinating! I’m still contemplating trying both of those, but differing anecdotes from friends have me a bit wary. Have you used DMT? Did you like it?

Google:  What has impressed me repeatedly during my many glimpses into the world of the hallucinogenic indoles is the transformation of narrative and language. The experience that engulfs one's entire being as one slips beneath the surface of the DMT ecstasy feels like the penetration of a membrane. The mind and the self literally unfold before one's eyes. There is a sense that one is made new, yet unchanged, as if one were made of gold and had just been recast in the furnace of one's birth.

BTR:  Umm… I don’t really know how to react to that one. Maybe in some more prosaic language?

Google:  I was perfectly at peace to see everything pulsing and convecting with the same fluid energy that flowed through me. Somewhere inside I knew the world was always like this. I just had to look at the proper angle to see it. Fortunately, DMT provided this perspective.

I intuitively felt that the DMT had somehow sped up my brain's sensory processors. Light and sound waves broke out of their macroscopic patterns and could be sensed at quantum levels. Frequencies not normally accessible to human range were suddenly tangible. My most intense hallucinations followed the tightening of my face and eye, leading me to believe that an actual physical alteration in the sensory mechanics was being made, a fourth dimensional focusing of some kind.

BTR:  Namaste. So this sounds like a pretty crazy experience. How in the world did people figure out about DMT’s crazy properties?

Google:  Despite its presence in the South American snuffs and ayahuasca, the psychoactive effects of DMT were not discovered until first reported by Stephen Szára in 1956. A Hungarian chemist and psychiatrist operating behind the Iron Curtain, Szára could not obtain LSD or mescaline from Sandoz so he synthesized his own DMT (after reading about its presence in the plants used by South American shamans) in the hope that he would find it to be ‘psychedelic’.

BTR:  The more intelligent version of huffing things found under the sink. Got it. No way this is legal, right?

Google:  DMT is a class A drug which means that it's illegal to have for yourself, give away or sell. The maximum penalty for possession is seven years in jail and/or an unlimited fine.

BTR:  Yowza. So why are people talking about it so much lately?

Google:  Ever since Enter the Void and DMT: The Spirit Molecule showed up on Netflix Instant, kids have been going gaga over this technology from another dimension.

BTR:  God damn liberal media getting our kids to do drugs. So how popular is it?

Google:  The number of people in the U.S. who have used DMT in some form has been up almost every year since 2006 -- from an estimated 688,000 in 2006 to 1,475,000 in 2012.

BTR:  I’d call that a trend. Are there any celebrities that I can look to for advice, no matter their credentials or qualifications?

Google:  “It was like an adrenaline shot of getting pure knowledge, absolute complete Meaning Of Life knowledge.” - Doug Stanhope

“The heavier the psychedelic the better. No ones dying from psychedelics. All our thoughts about psychedelics are all based of bullshit propaganda that we heard about people going crazy or losing their minds. You’re not going to go crazy; you’re going to go fucking sane. All that stuff is going to remove your ego and explain to you what the world is really about." - Joe Rogan

BTR:  The dudes from The Man Show? Eh, they got a bad deal going into that, and I love their individual standup sets. You might have me sold. But are there any superstars that would really knock this out of the park for me?

Google:  “Suddenly, I was thrown into this expansive, amazing feeling of freedom from myself, from my problems. I saw that I was bigger than what I do, I was bigger than my body. I was everything and everyone. I was no longer a fragment of the universe. I was the universe…I want to take as many people with me as I can because the feeling is amazing. ” - Jim Carrey

BTR:  Whoa! And that’s coming from the dude that took over being God from Morgan Freeman. Is there anything else I should know?

Google:  “You already know everything.” 

BTR:  You’re the worst, Google. Play me out.

Google:  Jay Electronica - “Dimethyltryptamine