It's the day after Halloween and it's a Friday, which means I've got about three working brain cells at the moment. The good news is there's the weekend ahead for most of us, so let's give you something to read before you bolt out of the office to get it underway.
1. The Book of Moron
Mark Halperin is the worst kind of hack, a guy who represents all that's wrong with political journalism in America. Still, the rest of the media will gaggle around like schoolgirls to drink in the gossip that's contained in his and John Heilemann's latest "insider" story of what really goes on during a race for president. Double Down is the new book -- the follow-up to Game Change, if you can see the pattern developing -- and while I can't recommend that you throw your money at it, the Times runs down the big secrets that you'll be hearing ad nauseam from a post-orgasmic Chuck Todd and every other political reporter over the next several days. As the book is dug further and further into, more details will be talked about -- making Mark Halperin the Edward Snowden of crap.
2. Hurts So Good
Some people blame Tumblr. I'm more likely to blame Twilight. Either way, emo types on the internet are turning the very serious problem of depression into memes that traffic in the idea of "beautiful suffering." Melancholy is nothing new, but leave it to social media and pop culture to make it even more melodramatic and insufferable.
3. What a Friend You Have in Jesus
The easiest way to get dropped immediately as a Facebook friend is to send me anything from "Jesus Daily." Here's why, for those lucky enough to not know what I'm talking about.
If you're planning on seeing Ender's Game this weekend -- well, chances are you're already very familiar with the book and its asshole author, Orson Scott Card. If not, though, and you want to know what all the fuss is about -- why the book is touted as a worldwide sensation and why its author is an asshole -- Vulture's got you covered.
5. Crime Fighters
Glenn Beck and Lawrence O'Donnell are very likely going to be in a movie together. They'll play buddy cops. This is not a joke.
Enjoy the day, folks.