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The Celebrity Round Up: Madonna Banned From The Movies, Stallone Charges For Photos, and Kate Hudson Jumps

There are no people on earth more important than celebrities. Why? Because acting saves lives! Anyway, check out our guide to the latest in celebrity news - the most important news you'll read all day.


Madonna has fallen foul of the law. Cinema law that is. Caught texting whilst meant to be concentrating on 12 Years a Slave in New York, Madge was asked to stop by a fellow cinema goer and apparently responded: “It’s for business, enslaver.” And now she’s been banned from Alamo Drafthouse cinemas until she says the ‘s’ word. Yes, I’m sure she is devastated.

I find the following things surprising:

1. Madonna goes to the cinema. That alone is interesting. I thought when you were that famous and rich you didn’t need to go to the movies anymore and could simply hire all the actors to act out the film in your home.

2. That Madonna has her own phone. I thought she would have some assistant who did all her texting for her. Or an assistant who responds to people who talk to Madonna so she doesn’t have to.

3. That someone has the balls to tell Madonna what to do AND she responded.

Given that the American economy is booming and people just can’t decide what to spend their spare cash on, Sylvester Stallone has come to the rescue.

Is $445 burning a hole in your pocket? Can’t decide whether to buy a gold-plated Iphone cover or that front seat for Britney’s Vegas residency? Well fear not because you could be paying Sylvester Stallone that tiny, miniscule, insignificant amount of money for a signed autograph and a handsome photo with the muscly (it’s-all-natural) actor at New York Comic Con.

Don’t have that much? For a measly $100 Gillian Anderson will do it. Imagine all the likes on Facebook you’ll get. Joy.

And while new mums everywhere frantically look to their celebrity betters to find the perfect way to shed the babyweight straight out of the hospital, actress Kate Hudson leaps to the rescue. Helping all those women eager to squeeze into their skinny jeans within days (because, folks, that’s what really happens), she let’s us in to a little secret (whilst also taking a blatant swipe at Madonna’s laziness for both sitting and looking at one’s phone).

“If anyone thinks the baby weight is going to fall off without doing anything – they are fooling themselves. My new thing is that I always carry a jump rope with me. Then, whenever I have a break during the day, I’ll just jump. I’ll do 150, take a short break, and then do another 150. I can either sit around looking at my phone, or I can jump.”

Thanks for sharing.

And talking of sharing, or rather over-sharing, Tom Arnold as dished the dirt on friend (?) Arnold Schwarzenegger. In an interview of such horrible detail, Tom tells a (now likely damaged) journalist that Arnold likes to have sex “five time a day, as he says. It’s a good number.” He adds, “A lot of women won’t do that, but he is in great shape.”

This is information that shouldn’t be made readily available. When you read stories like this, they are normally ‘a source says.’ But this time it’s not a source. It’s Tom. And Tom needs to keep some things to himself.

Until next week....