Wisconsin’s Republican Senator Ron Johnson  is worth well over $23 Million, so certainly knows a thing or two about the high life. Using standard Republican logic, it stands to reason that he would also know how not to be poor. In a speech at a Rotary Club in Madison, Wisconsin, Johnson laid out his blue print to prosperity in America. Reports the Cap Times:

He said those who want to stay out of poverty have the best chances of doing so if they graduate from high school, don’t get addicted to drugs and alcohol and don’t get pregnant out of wedlock.

In other words, listen up poor folk, be upper middle class like me!

Mark E. Anderson chimes in with his own list of advice:

• Choose your parents well. Almost half (49 percent) of children who are born into poverty are persistently poor.

• Don’t let your parents get divorced. If they do get divorced, statistically speaking, you are better off living with dad, not mom.

• Don’t lose your job.

• Only bad workers make minimum wage, so don’t be a bad worker.

• Don’t get a major illness.

• Don’t be a minority.

• If you chose your parents well you can borrow money from them to start your own business.

• Don’t be junior enlisted in the military and have a family.

• Marry well. It worked for Sen. Johnson.

What's next, old Republican white men lecturing women about reproductive health?