Here's what you should be reading instead of contemplating how drunk you'll be by 5:15pm:
1. He Owns the Night
Dave Itzkoff wrote a really great little book on coming up through the ranks at magazines like Details and Maxim -- it was called Lads -- and he's turned into one of the New York Times' most entertaining columnists. Here he profiles the guy who Jim Breuer still speaks of in hushed tones because, as he says, the guy is just that fucking powerful.
2. Some Thing Has Found Us
Start hoarding your canned goods and evacuating the coastal cities now. The extermination of mankind from the deep-sea Kaiju has begun.
3. Throne for a Loop
Finally, this is, as the headline says, everything that is right and pure and beautiful in the world: Peter Dinklage drunk hula-hooping at a gay bar. This isn't gonna help him convince Tywin to give him Casterly Rock.
Have a great Friday, boys and girls.