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The Morning Banter: White on White Crime, Clintons vs Weiners and Lincoln Memorial Vandal Arrested!

It's Tuesday people, and you should at this point in the day be rifling through your emails, looking at your agenda and planning the rest of your day. Or you could be reading about some funny/disturbing shit on the internet, which is of course, much more fun.
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Corporate criminal

It's Tuesday people, and you should at this point in the day be rifling through your emails, looking at your agenda and planning the rest of your day. Or you could be reading about some funny/disturbing shit on the internet, which is of course, much more fun.

1. White on White Crime

Cord Jefferson over at Gawker has done a must read piece on white on white crime in America. Commenting on a video of (mostly) white surfers rampaging through the streets of Huntington Beach California, destroying public property and getting in fist fights, Jefferson pleaded with the white community to pull together and stop the violence against each other:

Many people don't want to hear this kind of tough love, of course. They'd like to bury their heads in the sand and pretend that all white children are as sweet and harmless as Taylor Swift. But the reality is that the statistics tell a different story. For instance, according to research from the Department of Justice, 84 percent of white murder victims are killed by other white people[PDF]. Similarly, white rape victims tend to be raped by other whites [PDF]. White-on-white violence is a menace to white communities across the country, and yet you never hear white leaders like Pastor Joel Osteen, Bill O'Reilly, or Hillary Clinton take a firm stance against the scourge.

While we're at it, could we get some acknowledgment of white on white crime in World War 1 & 2? White people really have to get to grips with their inherent desire to commit mass genocide and slaughter each other on a moments notice. It's the tribal instincts you see...

2. Is Eliot Spitzer the Biggest Hypocrite Ever?

Former New York Governor and serial prostitute user Eliot Spitzer told Chris Matthew on MSNBC's "Hardball" on Monday that he would have fired Anthony Weiner for texting pictures of his penis to young women. "If a public official used their office equipment to engage in the kind of past-time that Anthony Wiener's been involved in in the last couple years, would you fire them?" asked Matthews. "I think the answer is yes," replied Spitzer, himself running for NYC comptroller. "We have had a number of instances over the years where...municipal employees...state employees used computers and the like for improper purposes...There is an appropriate sanction for that...there should be."

Er...something about a pot, the color black and a kettle?

3. The Clintons vs the Weiners

Responding to rumors that the Clintons are trying to force Anthony Weiner out of the NYC Mayoral race, Andrew Sullivan went on the rampage yesterday accusing the Clintons of epic hypocrisy. Sullivan's reactionary right wing history seemed to come back in full force as he cataloged the evil nature of the Clintons and their ruthless pursuit of power. Not to say that Sullivan doesn't have a point (if he's right of course - the rumors are coming from the ultra right wing NY Post), but the rant betrays a little more about him than it does his subject.

4. Giant Explosion in Florida Propane Plant

Following a seemingly never ending slew of industrial disasters around the country, a propane factory in in Lake County, Florida exploded late last night causing massive amounts of damage and potentially dozens of deaths.

Needless to say, Republicans will argue for less regulation of these type of industrial plants going forward, because freedom to pay employees nothing and skipping cumbersome health and safety regulations is obviously more important than having entire fucking factories blow up.

5. Idiot Woman Arrested For Vandalizing Lincoln Memorial

The Guardian provides the rundown on the fate of one of the stupidest people in the country:

A woman was arrested Monday after green paint was found splattered inside two chapels at the Washington national cathedral, and police were investigating her in connection with two similar incidents on the National Mall, authorities said.

The woman was arrested in the area of the cathedral shortly after the paint was found, assistant DC police chief Peter Newsham said. Investigators were hoping to question her about the vandalism on the Mall, including at the Lincoln Memorial, but a language barrier delayed the interrogation, Newsham said.

The woman would likely be charged with destruction of property, Newsham said.

Any suggestions for an appropriate punishment? I vote cleaning up the capitals dog crap with only a toothbrush for a month.

6. Funny GIF

Since Chez linked to one of the greatest GIFs of all time in yesterday's Morning Banter, here's a less brilliant, but equally funny GIF of a silly chap getting into hammock tied between two very old looking a lake. Not the brightest idea ever.