Clearly this is because our maple syrup loving brethren up north are commies.
One place where none of this banking drama is taking place is Canada, as CBS Evening News weekend anchor Jeff Glor reports.
Ed Clark is a plainspoken, polite and prudent Canadian bank CEO with a few simple rules: "We should never do things for our customers and clients that we don't actually understand. If you wouldn't put your mother-in-law in this, don't put our clients in it."
You may never have heard of Clark or Toronto Dominion bank (aka TD Bank), but it's the sixth-largest bank in North America - and, in the middle of a global banking crisis, a profitable one at that.
"We will make more money in this quarter than any bank in North America," Clark said. "So for a little Canadian bank sitting up here, yeah that feels pretty good."
How did that come to pass?
"Basically, because we didn't do the things that blew other banks up," Clark said.