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Because Sometimes One Thing Taints Everything Else In Your Brain

ESPN: Raiders reward Cable with top job

Although Tom Cable is aware of the stiff challenges he is assuming by staying with the Oakland Raiders, their no-longer-interim coach only sees the opportunities.

Owner Al Davis formally introduced Cable as his fifth head coach since 2003 on Wednesday in a news conference lacking the theatric vitriol of last year's rare public appearance by Davis, when he promoted Cable and fired Lane Kiffin four weeks into the season.

The Raiders also announced the hiring of several more assistant coaches, nearly completing Cable's overhauled coaching staff. Ted Tollner was named the Raiders' passing game coordinator, and veteran NFL assistant John Marshall will be Cable's defensive coordinator.

I seriously read this article thinking:

1. How open would the NFL be to a mutant?
2. Is telekinesis useful when you're a coach?