From: Mark Penn, Esq.
To: Interested Parties, The Media, And Crazed Pro-Clinton Bloggers Who Lap This Bull Up
Senator Clinton’s 41% showing in Tuesday night’s Wisconsin primary shows that she is well positioned to be the Democratic nominee. Using the eye of newt in a cauldron projection model, I can forecast that the big support among over-60 white women will deliver both Texas and Ohio for her. What I’ve done in order to make the data conform to my prediction - the patented Penn Maneuver (tm) - is simply exclude any and all data unfavorable to Senator Clinton. For the purposes of these projections I’ve excluded:
* The male vote. Studies conducted by me and my socks show that males do not show up on election day.
* Women under 60. Senator Clinton is 60. There isn’t anybody under that age paying for my brilliant analysis to the tune of $4 million, so those votes don’t count.
* People under 60. See above.
* Minorities. Jesse Jackson won South Carolina, need I say more? Didn’t think so.
As I have argued for months, let us simply end the nomination process now and give it to Senator Clinton. Only her campaign has done what is necessary, which is to hire me, in order to sweep this thing up. She’s inevitable, because I said so. See what I wrote? I-n-e-v-i-t-a-b-l-e. I wrote it so it must be true, that’s the first rule of Microtrends.
“We make the numbers do as you say”