THE MORNING BANTER: The Golden Globes, A New Christie Theory, Roger Ailes Still Sucks, and the New “Game of Thrones” Season

By January 13, 2014
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It’s Monday and so it’s back to the grind with you, gerbils. Here’s a couple of headlines and some assorted stuff from around the internet to get you through the day.

Spoiler Alert: I’m Terrified For The Comments On This One

By January 10, 2014

If you go almost anywhere else on the web, comment sections are the place where intelligent, respectful debates go to die at the hands of trolls, bigots, and general assholes. However, somehow, The Daily Banter’s readership has decided to rise above this misanthropy-inducing phenomenon.

And that’s a beautiful thing that must be protected.

Robert Gates Confirms Obama’s Real Middle East Motivations: Getting the Hell Out

By January 09, 2014
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While people may think that Robert Gates ‘exposed’ the President on his true motivations towards Afghanistan, he has in fact shown the President to have an accurate understanding of just how disastrous US intervention in the Middle East has been.

Token Crazy Person Ann Coulter Calls Melissa Harris-Perry ‘Token African American’

By January 08, 2014

Given Coulter’s entire career has been built off the fact that she is completely crazy, her scathing attack on Harris-Perry ranks up there with the best examples of right wing hypocrisy in recent memory.

Shock Horror!! Fundamentalist 51 Year Old Boxer From Deep South is Homophobic!!

By January 07, 2014

Why anyone thought a barely educated, deeply religious, 51 year old boxer who was born into grinding poverty in the segregated deep south wouldn’t be homophobic is completely inexplicable.

WATCH: A Christian Preacher Loses His Mind Over MTV2’s “Wonder Showzen”

By January 06, 2014
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If you’re a fire-and-brimstone Christian preacher there’s no way you were going to get the kind of misanthropic joke Wonder Showzen was. On the contrary, you were going to think it was pure, unrelenting evil, conjured by Satan himself.

Hamilton Nolan’s Savage Takedown of Kathleen Parker

By January 02, 2014
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Gawker’s chief smack talker Hamilton Nolan has taken it upon himself to dissect notorious hack and Washington Post contributor Kathleen Parker’s latest pantheon to rich white people.

Science’s 10 Biggest Discoveries in 2013 About Us, Wonderful Us

By December 31, 2013

LiveScience published a list of the most interesting discoveries about human nature in the past year…

The Real, Official, Way-Better-Than-Chez’s List of the Best 20 Songs of 2013

By December 30, 2013

Without further ado, and with all disrespect in the world to Chez, here are the actual 20 Best Songs of 2013

Former DEA Agents Defecting to Work for the Medical Marijuana Biz

By December 24, 2013
Medical Marijuana Club Seeks Site In Fisherman's Wharf

After 10 years with the DEA, former Oregon agent Patrick Moen accepted a job with Privateer Holdings, a Seattle-based equity firm that invests in marijuana companies.

New Study Reveals the Secret Behind Multi-Vitamins

By December 17, 2013

Slate reported today on yet another medical journal stating that multivitamins contain “no substantial health benefit.” The journal, The Annals of Internal Medicine, also scientifically skewers a few other popular supplement types such as anti-oxidants, folic acid, and B-vitamins.

THE MORNING BANTER: Obama Poll Woes, Brain Orgasms, WTFs, and Fantasy Kickers

By December 17, 2013

It’s Tuesday, which means you’ve got like one more day before you HAVE to order that one thing you know you need to order for Christmas. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

At 1:05, I Was Intrigued. At 1:33, My Jaw Hit the Floor. At 2:37, I Nearly Died…

By December 16, 2013

On a serious note, the explosion of these type of headlines on sites like UpWorthy and ViralNova is one of the greatest threats to online journalism and the survival of genuinely good content.

THE BEST OF: Malcolm Gladwell vs. Bill Simmons

By December 16, 2013
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We’ll be doing episode recap/analysis of some of the best writing out there on the interweb so you can at least get a nice mental jog in before catching up on Mad Men

Epic Santa Claus Brawl in NYC

By December 15, 2013
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Tis the season to be Merry, or in NYC, get drunk dressed as Santa and fight with other dudes dressed as Santa.

Here’s what happened during ‘SantaCon’, a holiday bar crawl where guys dress up as Santa and drink themselves into a stupor.

Special K’s Advice to Women: Stop Talking About How Fat You Are and Eat More of Our Cereal

By December 13, 2013
Special K Challenge

Perhaps inspired by the success of Unilever’s nauseating Dove “Real Beauty” campaign, Kellogg’s Special K has joined in the pandering fun of treating women like they’re still 12 years old, will cry at the drop of a hat, and have nothing better to do than worry about their thighs and insecurities all fucking day.

World Not Over Just Yet, Pope Beats Miley Cyrus for TIME ‘Person of the Year’

By December 11, 2013
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Civil society can breathe a sigh of relief: Pope Francis is TIME Magazine’s Person of the year for 2013, beating out the likes of Miley Cyrus to claim the mantle of the world’s most influential person.

Breaking Bad Assists In Obama Assassination Attempt

By December 11, 2013

A Texan woman named Shannon Richardson recently pled guilty to sending ricin-laced letters to President Barack Obama and New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg. Most fans of good television will instantly remember that ricin is one of the more famous murder weapons in AMC’s Breaking Bad…