Perhaps inspired by the success of Unilever’s nauseating Dove “Real Beauty” campaign, Kellogg’s Special K has joined in the pandering fun of treating women like they’re still 12 years old, will cry at the drop of a hat, and have nothing better to do than worry about their thighs and insecurities all fucking day.
Happy Tuesday, you filthy animals. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb: 1. The Top Ten Finalists for TIME’s Person of the Year in 2013 Announced TIME Magazine’s Managing Editor Nancy Gibbs named the full shortlist of contenders for the title with two days to go until the official selection. The list includes Ted Cruz, Miley… Read More
A recent article in Elle magazine, seemingly reprinted from 1973, helps needy women figure out how to deal with the scourge of a busy pseudo-boyfriend who has, like, a job. After a giant splash ad promising “50 Date Night Dresses He’ll Flip For,” Elle presents the story “Meet the Thursday Guy: The New Problem Plaguing… Read More
South Carolina embarrassed itself yet again (this year month week), when Pickens County Sheriff Rick Clark decided it was an excellent idea to be publicly and unforgivingly absurd, by stating that he would not be following the President’s order to fly the U.S. flag at half-mast to show respect for the life and loss of Nelson Mandela. Clark’s reasoning, according to his Facebook page is that, “Nelson Mandela did great things for his country and was a brave man but he was not an AMERICAN!!! The flag should be lowered at our Embassy in S. Africa, but not here.”
In Michigan, Republican lawmakers have devised a particularly insidious piece of legislation that would ban primary insurance policies from covering abortions — even abortions as the result of rape or incest. That’s right, in addition to being raped, a woman could potentially have to pay thousands of dollars out of pocket to terminate.
On this, the day that we celebrate the beginning of the first — but certainly not last — great American land swindle, I ask you to remember the plight of flightless birds everywhere. Sure, that farm-raised turkey is now on your plate, but at one time it had dreams of majestically taking to the skies, just like so many of its feathered brethren.
Just like the poor Kiwi.