Uncategorized

Kanye West Is Both Insane and a Genius. And We Have the Chart to Prove It

By November 27, 2013
kanye-west-324-640x478

In just a half hour, Mr. West managed to fluctuate so erratically between intellectual and insane that we decided to make a graph charting the genius and insanity of his comments throughout the interview.

THE MORNING BANTER: Obama Confronts Hecklers, Negative Emotions Save Us, Animals Were Harmed, and Katie Couric Joins Yahoo

By November 26, 2013
1382292605000-obamacare

It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving (aka the day you go to the gym for 15 minutes longer than normal to justify eating 8,000 calories a day this weekend). Here’s what’s happening on the interweb.

10 Quotes That Prove That Joe Rogan Is WAY Smarter Than You Think

By November 25, 2013
JoeRogan171008_450x366

Joe Rogan is known mostly as the guy who made people eat bugs for money. But Joe Rogan is also a Jiu Jitsu black belt and WAY smarter than you think. Here are 10 quotes that prove the ‘Fear Factor’ presenter is a modern day philosopher and a Goddam genius.

Science Officially Proves That If You Don’t Use It, You Lose It

By November 22, 2013
scientists

Commissioned by an interdisciplinary team of scientists and academics from the research centers at UC – Berkley and Stanford, a joint study released today has proven definitively that if one does not use it, he or she will ultimately lose it. Taking on what is still an extremely divisive issue in the scientific community, the… Read More

Narco Cultura — New Documentary Explores the Soundtrack of Drug Lord Murderers

By November 22, 2013
Narco1

Narco Cultura, a documentary opening tonight in New York City and Miami, explores the music genre and exploding subculture of ‘narcocorridos’, or drug ballads that glorify violence and dealers as “modern-day Robin Hoods”. Some say the music genre could rival the popularity of ’90s gangsta rap and hip-hop. Is this the next big thing?

The Morning Banter: Palin Quits, The Denver Post Tokes Up, Zappos Responds To Kanye, and Little Girls Rule

By November 21, 2013
zappos21f-1-web

It’s Thursday, which is basically Friday, which is basically the weekend! Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

McDonald’s Holiday Budget Tips for Employees: Return Your Presents, Losers

By November 21, 2013
mcdonalds_strike

Perusing McDonald’s’ corporate wellness site for its employees, which they actually call “McResource Line,” you might find yourself praying that it’s an elaborate parody. But sadly, it is real. Real vague, real condescending and real insulting.

Empty Nest

By November 21, 2013


It’s an amazing thing really. I can’t for the life of me figure out why, but despite my not having posted a damn thing in weeks there are still people visiting this site. As somebody who’s blogged or written for seven-and-a-half years now it shouldn’t surprise me that various Google searches and so on continue to bring people here, but I guess it kind of does — and maybe that’s because I’m so angry with myself because I feel as if I’ve had no choice but to abandon my internet home in favor of every other fucking thing I have to do these days.

I can’t do much in the way of making promises anymore. The best I can do at this point is to say that I’ll write here when I can, meaning that the lights will always be on so that I can come back when I need to — when I truly have to say something I can’t say anywhere else. That time really will come, that much I actually can say for sure. I’m even inclined to say that it’ll happen soon, but again, no assurances.

For what it’s worth I truly do hope that those of you who’ve been kind enough to read this site over the years have already made the jump over to the Daily Banter. I’m there several times a day, hopefully still doing good work. Sometimes it feels just like being here, but admittedly most of the time it doesn’t. Gotta make a living somehow, though, and I’m finally getting paid to do what I always wanted to so I know that I’m very lucky.

I realize that I’m repeating myself from a few weeks ago. Sorry.

All I can say is, I’ll be back here in time. It’s always in my heart. I mean that in ways I could never full explain.

Morning Banter: Coked Out Congressmen, Hip-Hop Reunions, Gender Presentations, and George W. Bush’s Paintings

By November 20, 2013
Michael-Lavine-Outkast-580x4821

Hey Mike, hey Mike, hey Mike. You know what day it is? Yeah you do. It’s Hump Day! Woo woo!

The best stories of the internet for ya:

Why We Should All Be Grateful For Walmart This Thanksgiving

By November 19, 2013
walmart

An Ohio Walmart recently placed a handful of large brightly-colored bins in employee breakrooms with a sign attached asking for the employees to, “Please donate food items here so Associates [what they call their employees] can enjoy Thanksgiving Dinner.”

Glenn Beck Comment Porn: Comment of the Decade

By November 15, 2013
Glenn-Beck-Comment-Porn

In this week’s edition of ‘Glenn Beck Comment Porn’, we have one solitary comment from Glenn Beck’s site, ‘The Blaze’. In response to a post on Darren Aronofsky’s long-awaited film “Noah”, a Blaze reader weighed in with what must be the single best comment we’ve seen in our time covering the site and all its glorious madness.

Your Drug Of Choice

By November 14, 2013
electronic-dance-music

Your drug of choice says a lot about you. Do you look for the social lubrication of alcohol? The elated introspection of weed? The quick thrill of coke? The synthetic contentment of molly? When searching for what you want it’s important to know what you’re looking for. And that’s why this debate between rock and EDM will never be settled.

Daily Banter Update: Chez Pazienza Fired For Plagiarism

By November 07, 2013
drunk clown

It is with great regret that we are announcing the departure of Chez Pazienza from The Daily Banter. Chez has written for the site since our relaunch in early 2012 and has provided us with many great stories, original pieces and provocative opinions.

Unfortunately we discovered that Chez had plagiarized a satirical Rand Paul speech without giving credit.

What Have We Learned Today?

By November 06, 2013

Quote of the Day

By November 04, 2013

Our Apologies

By November 04, 2013
Screen Shot 2013-11-04 at 9.51.03 AM

  Just a quick note from management here – we’ve had an erroneous headline piece up about the LAX shooting up on the site stating that the gunman had been shot dead by the LAPD. That obviously wasn’t the case as Paul Ciancia is alive and in critical condition at UCLA Medical Center. The headline was actually… Read More

Back Issues

By November 04, 2013


Considering the amount of writing I now do each day and week, I won’t lie and say that I’m going to be cranking out material around here the way I used to anytime soon. I just can’t; there aren’t enough hours in the day. That said, no, I’m not going to let this site die a “dignified” death simply because it’s still my home even if it’s been vacant recently. When the mood strikes me and I feel like I have to write something personal, this is where it’s going to go — and I promise you that will absolutely happen at some point.

While I can’t guarantee that I’ll have the space in my incredibly tight schedule to do it each and every time, I do plan to at least try from here on out to link anything I write at Banter over here in the name of A) keeping DXM on at least some kind of life-support, and B) taking readers who still visit this site, and shockingly there are still quite a few of you, directly to my nonsensical ramblings.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve written several columns at Banter that may as well have been DXM material, particularly some of the longer-form pieces, and this makes me pretty happy.

Here are the links:

Is It Islamophobia or Just Islam?/11.1.13

Quote of the Day: Fuck You, Salon/10.30.13

The Trayvon-Zimmerman Costume Controversy: Is the Reaction Fair?/10.30.13

Glenn Greenwald and the New York Times Have at Each Other (and the Result Is Pretty Interesting)/10.29.13

None of Us Will Ever Be as Cool As Lou Reed/10.28.13

Salon Slams Russell Brand and Proves Why the Far-Left Is a Joke/10.25.13

The Mother of All Anti-NSA Ads Is Watching You/10.23.13

The Onion Draws Outrage Again, Makes Its Point Flawlessly/10.23.13

Kanye West’s Big “Fuck You” To Redneck America/10.22.13

It’s Just Another School Shooting/10.21.13

Is It Wrong To Tell Women To Drink Responsibly To Protect Themselves?/10.21.13

I’ll try to stay on top of it, kids. It ain’t easy these days.

The Morning Banter: Halloween Tricks, Treats, Haunts & Howls Edition

By October 31, 2013
2

Happy Halloween, Banter readers!  Here’s all the tricks, treats, haunts and howls to get you through the day.  Go on and tell us, if the Halloween spirit is alive and well, what you’re dressing up as today in the comments section too! In last Wednesday’s Morning Banter, I posted a cool profile on Sriracha hot sauce,… Read More