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The End of Ann Coulter: The World Cup Rant That No One Cares About

By June 27, 2014
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The truth is, no one really gives a shit what Coulter says about anything these days as her schtick is about as original as Britney Spear’s latest album. Most major outlets don’t pay her any attention as her toxic brand of xenophobia and liberal baiting stopped being amusing at least half a decade ago.

Jiu Jitsu Expert Nonchalantly Dominates Knife-Wielding Assailant

By June 27, 2014
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It’s Friday. Watch some silly shit on the internet, like a Jiu Jitsu expert calmly disarming a guy with a knife

Ryan Seacrest Now On All Four Major Networks, Proves US Media Has Run Out of Ideas

By June 26, 2014
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It’s official, Ryan Seacrest is now America’s only TV host.

Is Knowing What’s In Our Political Sausage Ever Going To Stop Us From Eating It?

By June 24, 2014
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We say we want all this transparency so that real change will come, but so far, at this point in our societal evolution, we’re at that disheartening stage where more transparency is just showing us exactly how screwed the system really is and it’s messing a lot of people up.

Stop Saying, “America is Less Safe” Because Of Obama. It’s a Meaningless Phrase.

By June 05, 2014
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Isn’t it horribly ironic that those who say Obama’s foreign policy prerogatives are making America less safe tend to be the same people who back policies that have measurably weakened national security?

Attention Will Smith, This Is Not Okay

By June 02, 2014
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I’ve been a fan of yours since I was watching Fresh Prince reruns before school on TBS. Every time my mom and I went to SYMS to buy a blazer, I begged for one with a fun inner lining so that I could wear it inside-out like you. And when the time came for you to be a father, I was ready to give Jaden a chance…

Joe The Plumber Now Inciting Murder Of Politicians

By May 31, 2014
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It appears that not-Joe the non-Plumber is refusing our kind offer of ice cold, frost-brewed Shut The Fuck Up. In a followup to his sickening “open letter” to the families of those gunned down by UCSB mass killer Elliot Rodger, Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher explains on his blog that our military veterans died so that he could tell his readers what guns are really for: “mostly for hunting down politicians who would actively seek to take your freedoms and liberty away from you.”

Can We Please Stop Blindly Glamorizing The Military? It’s Giving Would-Be Soldiers The Wrong Idea

By May 29, 2014
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“Now don’t get me wrong, as another comedian, Michael Birbiglia, once put it, ‘I love the troops. Because if they weren’t the troops, I would be the troops. And I would be the worst troops. I’d be like, ‘You expect me to carry a gun this heavy and run away screaming?’.”

The Dangerous Thing About Child Predators That People Don’t Understand

By May 23, 2014
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The longer this myth about pedophiles persists, the more difficult it is to protect children.

Space Oddity: David Lynch’s Version of “Return of the Jedi” Will Haunt Your Dreams

By May 21, 2014
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Imagine the hallucinatory insanity. Imagine what a Lynchian Star Wars would look like. That’s precisely what a YouTube user who goes by the name “C-SPIT” did, and the trailer he cut out of the original Jedi material now gives us a glimpse of the nightmare galaxy far, far away that never was.

The Newest Argument Against Same-Sex Marriage is the Most Pathetic One Of All

By May 15, 2014
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All of the arguments that opponents of gay marriage have put forth have been knocked down one by one — revealed as the bullshit they are. But there’s one last card to play, and it’s a total joke.

Watch This National Review Writer Get Caught Lying In One Paragraph

By May 13, 2014
Ramesh Ponnuru

Ramesh Ponnuru is one of the conservatives that the liberal intelligentsia loves to like. He isn’t a James Dobson bible-beater, nor is he a Louie Gohmert reactionary. He’s the kind of conservative who wears a suit, speaks in measured tones, and is still a liar. Check out Ponnuru’s latest for National Review: Whenever somebody says… Read More

Write Turn

By May 12, 2014
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Time to just come out and admit it: my workload is such these days that it’s almost impossible to keep posting new material here. I can’t really apologize for that anymore, simply because it’s not as if I’ve stopped writing altogether — it’s just that I’ve moved damn-near permanently at this point.

And so, rather than keep a two-month old video clip up as the first thing stragglers see when they inadvertently wander in here, I think it’s probably a good idea to at least point people in the direction of my new office. (I won’t call it home, because while it may be neglected right now, this place is still home to me.)

When I have something personal to say, I promise I’ll return here, but for now if you’re looking for my wit, charm and generally worthless opinions, you can head over to The Daily Banter.

The Daily Banter: Chez Pazienza

7 Lame Excuses For Why White Men Dominate Your Favorite Liberal Sites

By May 12, 2014
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1. They don’t know how white they are.

NFL Cool with Michael Sam’s Gayness Kinda, Maybe, Not Really?

By May 12, 2014
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There were some people who expressed sentiments along the lines of, “Being gay is fine but little kids don’t need to see that on TV.” Or as one person put it, “ESPN showing Michael Sam being drafted & his reaction is great & all but showing him kissing his boyfriend on national tv is a bit too far.”

Whoops! Report Confirms Al-Qaeda Switched to New Encryption Software Post-Snowden

By May 09, 2014
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The Wall Street Journal reports today that a “web intelligence” company called Recorded Future has determined that in the months following the initial NSA revelations by former contractor Edward Snowden, al-Qaeda operatives switched to new encryption software for the first time in seven years.

Sarah Palin Condescendingly Hopes Grandmahood Will ‘Open Hillary Clinton’s Eyes’ About Abortion

By May 09, 2014
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“I know this is going to be controversial,” she says of her statements. Or not controversial enough given conservatives’ widespread appallingly sexist reaction to the announcement of Chelsea Clinton’s pregnancy.

Fox News Contributor Loses the Plot With Hilarious Huff Post/Jack Bauer Analogy

By May 09, 2014
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A couple of days ago Fox News published something so brilliantly revealing of its white male, paranoid inferiority complex that it deserves to be etched into stone and studied by sociologists for decades to come.