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Can We Please Stop Blindly Glamorizing The Military? It’s Giving Would-Be Soldiers The Wrong Idea

By May 29, 2014
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“Now don’t get me wrong, as another comedian, Michael Birbiglia, once put it, ‘I love the troops. Because if they weren’t the troops, I would be the troops. And I would be the worst troops. I’d be like, ‘You expect me to carry a gun this heavy and run away screaming?’.”

The Dangerous Thing About Child Predators That People Don’t Understand

By May 23, 2014
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The longer this myth about pedophiles persists, the more difficult it is to protect children.

Space Oddity: David Lynch’s Version of “Return of the Jedi” Will Haunt Your Dreams

By May 21, 2014
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Imagine the hallucinatory insanity. Imagine what a Lynchian Star Wars would look like. That’s precisely what a YouTube user who goes by the name “C-SPIT” did, and the trailer he cut out of the original Jedi material now gives us a glimpse of the nightmare galaxy far, far away that never was.

The Newest Argument Against Same-Sex Marriage is the Most Pathetic One Of All

By May 15, 2014
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All of the arguments that opponents of gay marriage have put forth have been knocked down one by one — revealed as the bullshit they are. But there’s one last card to play, and it’s a total joke.

Watch This National Review Writer Get Caught Lying In One Paragraph

By May 13, 2014
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Ramesh Ponnuru is one of the conservatives that the liberal intelligentsia loves to like. He isn’t a James Dobson bible-beater, nor is he a Louie Gohmert reactionary. He’s the kind of conservative who wears a suit, speaks in measured tones, and is still a liar. Check out Ponnuru’s latest for National Review: Whenever somebody says… Read More

Write Turn

By May 12, 2014
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Time to just come out and admit it: my workload is such these days that it’s almost impossible to keep posting new material here. I can’t really apologize for that anymore, simply because it’s not as if I’ve stopped writing altogether — it’s just that I’ve moved damn-near permanently at this point.

And so, rather than keep a two-month old video clip up as the first thing stragglers see when they inadvertently wander in here, I think it’s probably a good idea to at least point people in the direction of my new office. (I won’t call it home, because while it may be neglected right now, this place is still home to me.)

When I have something personal to say, I promise I’ll return here, but for now if you’re looking for my wit, charm and generally worthless opinions, you can head over to The Daily Banter.

The Daily Banter: Chez Pazienza

7 Lame Excuses For Why White Men Dominate Your Favorite Liberal Sites

By May 12, 2014
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1. They don’t know how white they are.

NFL Cool with Michael Sam’s Gayness Kinda, Maybe, Not Really?

By May 12, 2014
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There were some people who expressed sentiments along the lines of, “Being gay is fine but little kids don’t need to see that on TV.” Or as one person put it, “ESPN showing Michael Sam being drafted & his reaction is great & all but showing him kissing his boyfriend on national tv is a bit too far.”

Whoops! Report Confirms Al-Qaeda Switched to New Encryption Software Post-Snowden

By May 09, 2014
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The Wall Street Journal reports today that a “web intelligence” company called Recorded Future has determined that in the months following the initial NSA revelations by former contractor Edward Snowden, al-Qaeda operatives switched to new encryption software for the first time in seven years.

Sarah Palin Condescendingly Hopes Grandmahood Will ‘Open Hillary Clinton’s Eyes’ About Abortion

By May 09, 2014
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“I know this is going to be controversial,” she says of her statements. Or not controversial enough given conservatives’ widespread appallingly sexist reaction to the announcement of Chelsea Clinton’s pregnancy.

Fox News Contributor Loses the Plot With Hilarious Huff Post/Jack Bauer Analogy

By May 09, 2014
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A couple of days ago Fox News published something so brilliantly revealing of its white male, paranoid inferiority complex that it deserves to be etched into stone and studied by sociologists for decades to come.

The New Breed of Porn Commenters

By May 09, 2014
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If you read today’s Morning Banter, you saw a double link to two “Of course there’s a tumblr for that” kind of websites, one called Spinning 3D Porn Hub Comments and the other Porn Hub Comments on Stock Photos; the kind of sites where you already know what, conceptually, will be at the other end of your mouse-click but the kind you visit anyway because #internet.

Quote of the Day: “Just this Once, You Shut Your F**king Mouth”

By May 08, 2014
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Rebecca Schoenkopf asks Glenn Greenwald to kindly shut the fuck up about the kidnapped Nigerian girls he doesn’t care about.

Did Raw Story Just Slander Tucker Carlson?

By May 07, 2014
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Raw Story wrote an incredibly trolly headline about Tucker Carlson, and it could be slanderous.

Why We Need to Appreciate the Zen of “Dude”

By May 07, 2014
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He’s using it as a tool, and essentially a last resort, to help keep some basic level of rational understanding and common sense to an argument and line of questioning that was — and let’s use our common sense when letting this word hit our trained-to-be-overreactive brains — a little unfair.

5 People Worse Than Donald Sterling Who Still Own Sports Teams

By May 06, 2014
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Now that Donald Sterling is out and our backs have turned red from the constant back-patting we’ve been giving ourselves, maybe it’s time we take the proactive approach, and actively search out and exterminate the terrible people who own and run our favorite sports teams.

THE MORNING BANTER: Nigerian Schoolgirls, Apple Shares, 60 Minutes, and Weird Al in Star Wars

By May 06, 2014
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Happy Tuesday! Let’s just all take one collective sigh before we get going. Here’s what’s happening on the interweb:

What They’re Saying In Them Rap Songs, A Visualization

By May 05, 2014
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A man named Matt Daniels, in an act that can only be seen as a selfless gift to mankind, took the first 35,000 words of a slew of artists’ material and analyzed that data for its lyrical diversity. He also included Shakespeare and Herman Melville as data-point benchmarks…