The Opening Acts at Bernie Sanders Rallies Are Awesome

It's not all "Democratic whores" and "I'm with Monica."
Avatar:
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
57
It's not all "Democratic whores" and "I'm with Monica."

One thing that this campaign has taught us is that, like any good concert, there's lots of gems to be uncovered in the opening acts at a Bernie Sanders rally. So, I spent a little time this morning skimming through raw video of an entire four-hour Bernie Sanders rally from Tuesday night in Carson, California, and found some wonderful things that weren't even all wonderfully awful.

I'll start with a good one first, even though he was the fourth or fifth opener, I think. How to Get Away with Murder actor Kendrick Sampson told a genuinely funny and insightful story about a homeless man demanding a gluten-free meal that, removed from politics, was pretty awesome:

The political point he was trying to make wasn't terrible either, although it immediately put me in mind of the Sanders campaign's general philosophy about Democratic voters who aren't on board with Bernie, because they just don't know that the meal he's offering everyone is even more nutritious for them. If Hillary's offering gluten-laden compromise, Bernie is insisting everyone take the vegan option. But still, it was a funny story with a good lesson about humility and self-awareness.

Then, there was actor Nick Zano, who I think is best known for What I Like About You. He seems like a nice enough guy, and I felt kind of bad about putting him on blast, but some people just don't realize what they sound like out loud. He talked about growing up in a house full of women, and I'm sure he didn't mean for it to come out this way, but it sounds like the point of his story is that the women who raised him wouldn't have been such miserable man-haters if they'd only gotten equal pay:

To top it all off, he even immediately pivots away from equal pay to the vegan minimum wage plate. Okay, I think I've tortured that analogy enough. 

Then, there was Titanic actress Frances Fisher, who started off by being the caricature of a Bernie Sanders supporter that the #BernieSoBlack hashtag envisioned, literally reducing the entire Civil Rights movement to a catch-phrase:

But then, Fisher told the story of her own awakening to #TheBern, which sounded like a cross between a Druid ritual, a mass "trust fall" exercise, and a Black Power protest without the Black Power:

At least no one got called a whore, right?