Ted Cruz Drops Out to Spend More Time Beating His Daughters

Following his distant second-place showing in the Indiana primary on Tuesday, Ted Cruz dropped out of the Republican presidential contest, just several days after inexplicably announcing his general election running mate.
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Following his distant second-place showing in the Indiana primary on Tuesday, Ted Cruz dropped out of the Republican presidential contest, just several days after inexplicably announcing his general election running mate.

Following his distant second-place showing in the Indiana primary on Tuesday, Ted Cruz dropped out of the Republican presidential contest, just several days after inexplicably announcing his general election running mate.

This makes Donald Trump the presumptive nominee -- that is unless the GOP pulls some backroom shenanigans, effectively stripping Trump of his nomination. Knowing how destructive Trump will be to the future of the party, much less recapturing the presidency, it still wouldn't be surprising to see Reince Priebus and the GOP establishment elevating an alternative candidate for the convention balloting.

There's also the possibility that Cruz could release his delegates to John Kasich, who is broadly seen as a more reasonable Republican.

In terms of Trump's would-be general election campaign matchup against Hillary Clinton, I'd wager that the Clinton camp is satisfied with Tuesday news, knowing that Trump is a much bigger target than Cruz. In so many ways, Trump offers a stronger contrast to Hillary, especially if he keeps up his primary season persona to some degree. Put another way: it's easier to run against Trump than it'd be to run against, say, Kasich, who appears more moderate and reasonable.

Anyway, in case you missed it, here's Cruz's concession speech.

By the way, Cruz proudly admitted again the other day that he spanks his young daughters when they misbehave. This misshapen fish-monster beats his kids, and he's not afraid to confess it in public. No wonder they desperately wriggle away from him whenever he tries to be affectionate with them on the stump. By the way, notice how Cruz accidentally elbows Heidi Cruz in the face. What a statesman.