Sorry, Sarah Palin, We Should Probably Ban Republicans From Using Public Bathrooms

The GOP likes to make a big deal over nonexistent problems...
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The GOP likes to make a big deal over nonexistent problems...

There's something especially ridiculous about the following contradiction. Many religious conservatives strongly believe in the existence of God, Heaven, Hell, the Devil and the literal interpretation of the Bible, even though zero evidence exists proving any of it really happened. But 97 percent of climate scientists agree that global warming is real, catastrophic and created by human activity -- and to these faithful believers, it's all a hoax. 

The Devil is real, with his red horns and hooves, despite no evidence proving he exists. But the climate crisis is fake, even though there's incontrovertible evidence to prove it.

Likewise, voter fraud exists, they say, even though it rarely ever happens. Statistically, it doesn't exist at all. A Bush administration investigation found that it occurs 0.00000013 percent of the time. This is real. And 97 percent consensus on the climate crisis is irrelevant. What's fake is real, and what's real is fake. This is the modern conservative movement.

The mind-numbing disparity continues. Sarah Palin, on Thursday, posted a cartoon about the new Puritanical GOP obsession: men disguising themselves as women and perving out on little girls in public restrooms. The Republicans are thinking about this -- and talking about it -- a lot. In fact, they're so focused on this idea that it's starting to get really creepy. They believe that if it's okay for transgender citizens to use the appropriate bathroom corresponding to their gender identity, then countless pervs and child molesters will exploit the law -- dressing up like women and peeking at girls as they sit on the toilet.

So, Palin posted this:

palin_schilling.jpg

The intent was to stand in solidarity with conservative former ballplayer Kurt Schilling who was fired by ESPN for posting an anti-trans cartoon on Facebook. Like Palin, he's just another conservative who can't stop thinking about men looking at peeing girls in public restrooms.

Where are they getting this crap? Is there an epidemic of molesters and peeping Toms infecting rest stops and national parks across the nation? Are the Republicans pegging their activism on the North Carolina bathroom law off a series of screamer headlines about leering, dress-wearing guys in women's bathrooms?

Of course not.

It might surprise you to know that conservatives are just imagining it. It's only real inside Palin's head, and Schilling's head, and Ted Cruz's head. Which leads me to believe that conservatives spend an awful lot of time thinking perverted thoughts. 

Buzzfeed reports:

In the 17 states and 225 cities with laws banning LGBT discrimination, there are no known instances of the rules being used to defend or facilitate predatory behavior in bathrooms or locker rooms.  

In other words, it doesn't happen. No one is doing what conservatives say they're doing. But we have to stand in solidarity against the rising tide of... nothing. Once again, conservatives have fooled roughly half the nation into believing that if non-discrimination laws are passed and unisex bathrooms continue to be a thing, it'll be sexual anarchy.

While there are zero cases of whatever it is Palin and Cruz say is happening, there have been at least three cases of Republicans perving out in bathrooms (via Deadstate): 

Jon Hinson
Hinson, a Mississippi congressman, was arrested in 1981 for having oral sex in the House of Representatives’ bathroom with a government staffer. In 1976, he was also arrested for exposing himself to an undercover agent but still managed to get himself reelected in 1980 after saying the incident was a result of his alcoholism. After the bathroom incident in 1981, he resigned from office.

Hinson came out as gay shortly after and lived out the rest of his life as an LGBT activist. He passed away from AIDS in 1995.

Larry CraigCraig, an Idaho Republican senator, was arrested for lewd conduct in a men’s room at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in 2007. Craig’s claim that he simply had a “wide stance” after an undercover officer accused him of trying to initiate a sexual transaction between bathroom stalls was bandied about on headlines and late-night talk shows.

Craig pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct, but two months later tried to withdraw the plea. even reversing his decision to resign from the Senate. Craig finished out his term and did not run for re-election in 2008.

And...

Bob Allen
Around the same time as the Craig scandal, Florida state Representative Bob Allen was arrested for allegedly agreeing to pay $20 to perform a sex act an undercover cop in the bathroom at a public park. Although he resigned later that year, he maintained that the only reason he was in the bathroom was because he was hiding out from the scary African American men hanging around.

According to Avery, “It just goes to show that for Republican politicians, it’s better to be thought of as a racist than as wanting to suck another man’s d*ck.”

In other words, the little girl in Palin's cartoon is more likely to be talking about a Republican than anyone else.