Donald Trump Brags About His Yuge Penis and Other GOP Debate 'Highlights'

Yep, that really happened.
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Yep, that really happened.
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Thursday night was the latest in a seemingly endless stream of Republican presidential debates, and it was every bit the shitshow you thought it would be. Perhaps no moment more perfectly illustrates the state of this race than Donald Trump reassuring the American people about the size of his peen:

  “He hit my hands. Nobody has ever hit my hands. I’ve never heard of this one. Look at those hands, are they small hands? And he referred to my hands if they’re small something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee it.”  

Here are a few other "highlights" from the debate.

Mitt Romney's attempt to kneecap Donald Trump doesn't seem to have moved the needle much, if the debate crowd is any indication. They roundly booed when Chris Wallace read off some of Romney's attacks, and ate up Trump's response:

Ted Cruz tried to have a "moment" when he told an interrupting Trump to "just breathe," but Marco Rubio stole it away from him with a quick-witted crack about yoga that didn't even seem rehearsed:

Trump and Rubio go at it over trade, and Trump starts in ith the "Little Marco" stuff, which makes you wonder what these guys are really doing during the breaks:

So, along those same lines, "Little Marco" decides it's a good idea to clap back at Trump by calling him "Big Donald." Get a fucking room, you two.

Finally, after two hours of blasting Trump as the worst monster in history, Rubio is asked if he will support Trump if he wins the nomination. The answer might surprise you, or not:

They all answered that way, but given the way Rubio has been going after Trump, that answer hurts him the most.