Sarah Palin is an idiot grifter and the fact that we're still talking about her hillbilly ass in 2016 is all the proof we need that America deserves to be wiped clean by the wrath of an angry God.
There, now that I've vented my rage let's get to the latest stunt she's pulled that proves she's still catnip to the political press. By now you've no doubt seen or heard at least some of her surreal announcement yesterday in which she threw her considerable heft with America's angry old yokel demographic behind Donald Trump in the 2016 presidential race. That's right: a politician turned reality star endorsing a reality star turned politician. USA! USA! USA!
It was expected that Palin's address would be the word-association of an illiterate mental patient, as usual, but honestly even in the eight-year-long canon of Palin gibberish this was something special. She seemed to be doing nothing more than spitting out a series of nouns and adjectives randomly like she was a broken Speak & Spell, without any consideration whatsoever for coherence or even the presumption of sanity. Words just flew off in all directions and thoughts began and then quickly died a painful death before they could reach any sort of merciful fruition.
There were so many delights to be found within Palin's speech since it was utter nonsense, beginning to end. But maybe my favorite representative soundbite for the whole thing was this: "But for the GOP establishment to be comin' after Donald Trump's supporters, even, with accusations that are so false, they are so busted, the way that this thing works. We, you, a diverse, dynamic, needed support base, that they would attack." I don't even know what she's saying there and I'd love to figure out a way to express how that made me feel when I heard it, but all I keep coming back to is this:
Thankfully, Patton Oswalt didn't allow Palin's fusillade of oratory gobbledygook to turn his brain to mush and leave him standing there in a puddle of his own urine, like it did me. Last night, he took to Twitter to "quote" Sarah Palin's endorsement address -- while tweeting directly to her -- and the result was pure magic.
And that's why Patton Oswalt is a national treasure.