Cartoon Dictator Donald Trump Wants To Ban All Muslims from Entering the U.S.

Il Douche strikes again.
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Il Douche strikes again.
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So, in case you haven't been paying attention, the terrorists won. They've actually been winning for years, given that they knew exactly what to do to make the breathtakingly gullible United States freak the fuck out, change the name of French fries and eventually invade the wrong country. But over the past few weeks it's become crystal clear that the goals of the terrorist "state" Daesh (ISIS) have been achieved handily thanks to the useful idiots who've met terrorism with pants-wetting terror and who are more than willing to roll over and give these killers everything they want. And what they want is for the U.S. to turn against Muslims.

At the forefront of the valiant fight to do the terrorists' bidding is fledgling fascist dictator and withered old grapefruit Donald Trump. He's already suggested registering and monitoring America's Muslim population and now, because it's a day ending in "y" and he has a tradition to uphold, he's officially proposing that we ban any and all Muslim immigration and travel to the U.S. Trump's campaign issued a statement today calling for "a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what is going on." (What's going on is that we've lost our fucking minds, but it's doubtful our representatives can do much about that since they're part of the problem.)

Trump goes on to cite a questionable poll that shows "there is great hatred towards Americans by large segments of the Muslim population." That and another poll commissioned by Islamophobic asshole Frank Gaffney apparently showing that 25% of Muslims worldwide believe attacks on America are justified -- with 51% believing Muslims in America should be governed by Sharia law -- is enough for Trump to decide that all Muslims and their Sharia law pose the threat of "great harm" to Americans. In particular he notes the danger to American women, in a move that's both deplorable in its similarity to the defense-of-women argument used to excuse racist crimes in the Reconstruction era South and comical in that it's coming from Donald Trump, one of the most sexist pricks in the known universe.

"Until we are able to determine and understand this problem and the dangerous threat it poses, our country cannot be the victims of horrendous attacks by people that believe only in Jihad, and have no sense of reason or respect for human life," Trump says toward the end of his missive, finally adding, "If I win the election for President, we are going to Make America Great Again." (Because there's no reason not to cynically push your brand by name when you're engaging in unapologetic bigotry and xenophobia.) See? He's being completely reasonable, since he only wants to keep all Muslims out of the United States until we figure this thing out, whatever the fuck that means. Once we've rounded up and excluded all the Muslims and frog-marched 11-million Central and South Americans out of the country by force, America will be great again. Just like it says on his hat.

Look, Donald Trump stopped being funny months ago and while it's still entirely possible he'll single-handedly bring about the end of this particularly virulent era of the Republican party, it's going to come at a very high cost. Trump is the living embodiment of the conservative id and he's riling up some very angry, very edgy people -- many of whom own and fetishize guns -- who believe the country they're entitled to by white birthright is being taken away from them. They don't like blacks, Mexicans or Muslims and Trump is telling them that it's not only possible but easily achievable to make their dream of a white American utopia come true. He's preaching fascism and institutionalized, legitimized intolerance and they're eating it up.

What Daesh wants is exactly what Trump is providing. They want us to demonize all Muslims because they believe that if we do -- if we make Muslims as a whole the enemy -- it will send those rejected, persecuted people right into their arms and that will draw the battle lines for the final fight between Islam and the rest of the infidel world. This is their apocalyptic fantasy. Unsurprisingly, it's the same basic fantasy fundamentalist Christians have -- that the stage will ultimately be set for the war that will bring Jesus back and end the corrupt Earth once and for all. This is why faith-based religion is generally dangerous, absurdist nonsense and it should be cast aside as the superstitious Bronze Age relic it is.

Until that time comes, though, we get this: idiots like Donald Trump suggesting that everyone who practices a specific religion is a threat and should be kept away from the good Christians of the United States. Even though those good Christians also seem to be awfully adept at killing peoplenot like them.