MEMBERS ONLY: It's Not About Trig Palin Standing on a Dog, It's About Sarah Palin Not Getting Why It's Bad

In case you're just now unwinding from the holiday break, Palin posted a photo on Facebook of her son Trig literally using one of the Palin dogs as a step stool.
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In case you're just now unwinding from the holiday break, Palin posted a photo on Facebook of her son Trig literally using one of the Palin dogs as a step stool.
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This isn't about Trig Palin. There are few things more awful than attacking the family or children of public figures -- unless, of course, they, too, are public figures then all bets are off. But Trig isn't, so it doesn't make any sense to publicly scold him. This is entirely about Sarah Palin, the one-time vice presidential candidate turned professional troll who routinely antagonizes liberals in service of reinforcing her personal brand as a moose-shooting "Mama Grizzly," whatever the hell that's supposed to prove.

In case you're just now unwinding from the holiday break, Palin posted a photo on Facebook of her son literally using one of the Palin dogs as a step stool -- it wasn't "Ronald Wilson Reagan" the dog (yes, they named one of their dogs "Ronald Wilson Reagan"), it was the other one. Evidently their female dog is named "Jill Hadassah," and if my theory is correct, her name is intended to troll liberals. Or, at least, it sounds like trolling because I'm pretty sure the dog is named after the wives of the two most recent Democratic vice presidential candidates, Jill Biden and Hadassah Lieberman. Get it? A female dog named after Democratic wives? Classy. Anyway, here's the post:

Happy New Year!
May 2015 see every stumbling block turned into a stepping stone on the path forward. Trig just reminded me. He, determined to help wash dishes with an oblivious mama not acknowledging his signs for "up!", found me and a lazy dog blocking his way. He made his stepping stone.
- Sarah Palin

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As soon as the photo went public, outraged ensued. Obviously. Among the outraged was, naturally, PETA. Mission accomplished. This is exactly what Palin wanted: for groups like PETA to freak out because this is what she does. She incites the left and other groups because it fluffs her stupid fanboys while highlighting her -- I don't know -- reputation as a troll?

We'll circle back to the PETA thing in a second. The real issue with these photos isn't necessarily Trig abusing Jill, potentially cracking ribs and doing other kinds of internal damage, which kind of sucks. This is about Palin being totally oblivious to it. It's white-trash ignorance. Parents who allow their children to abuse animals are arguably worse than the abusive children. Kids don't know any better because they haven't been taught that dogs are living, emotional beings that can be injured, tortured and killed. Worse, dogs have been known to reach a breaking point and to retaliate against abusers. So, let's for a moment fast forward a few years when, perhaps, Jill gets fed up with being stepped on and bites Trig. What sort of hillbilly justice do you think the Palins will dish out should Trig be injured by the dog? Say buh-bye to Jill, all because Palin is too stupid to recognize that dogs aren't ladders, furniture or disposable toys.

In response to the backlash, Palin posted one of her most word-salady status updates ever. Here are a few highlights of her open letter to PETA:

Hey, by the way, remember your “Woman of the Year”, Ellen DeGeneres? Did you get all wee-wee’d up when she posted this sweet picture? Hypocritical, much?

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An attached photo allegedly from the Ellen DeGeneres Show Facebook page features a much smaller child standing on a much larger dog. Almost as bad, yes, but sorry -- it very likely wasn't posted by Ellen herself, but instead a social media staffer. Oh, and by the way, Ellen doesn't have a daughter, so it's definitely not her child or her dog. Also, "all wee-wee'd up?" Is Palin 4-years-old? Never mind, stupid question.

Did you go as crazy when your heroic Man-of-Your-Lifetime, Barack Obama, revealed he actually enjoyed eating dead dog meat?

Was President Obama seriously named PETA's "Man-of-Your-Lifetime?" That's weird since PETA really has no specific position on Obama, although PETA was quite upset about the dog-meat thing. It's also a really awkward name for an award. As for enjoying the dog-meat, Obama didn't say he "enjoyed eating dead dog meat" when he was a kid living in Indonesia. Obama's only reaction was that it was "tough," which is totally different from, you know, "enjoyed."

Aren’t you the double-standard radicals always opposing Alaska’s Iditarod...

How is this at all a "double-standard?" PETA's position is that the Iditarod is abusive to the sled dogs, which is perfectly in line with its opinion on Palin's dog.

Aren’t you the same herd that opposes our commercial fishing jobs, claiming I encourage slaying and consuming wild, organic healthy protein sources called “fish”? (I do.)

Again, what? How is this inconsistent?

And now, a great big word salad:

Aren’t you the same anti-beef screamers blogging hate from your comfy leather office chairs, wrapped in your fashionable leather belts above your kickin’ new leather pumps you bought because your celebrity idols (who sport fur and crocodile purses) grinned in a tabloid wearing the exact same Louboutins exiting sleek cowhide covered limo seats on their way to some liberal fundraiser shindig at some sushi bar that features poor dead smelly roe (that I used to strip from our Bristol Bay-caught fish, and in a Dillingham cannery I packed those castoff fish eggs for you while laughing with co-workers about the suckers paying absurdly high prices to party with the throw away parts of our wild seafood)?

In case you hadn't noticed, that's one sentence. Bonus points to anyone who successfully charts it. First of all, I assure you, the desk chairs at PETA aren't made of leather, nor are they wearing leather belts. PETA might be a lot of things, but I've never bumped into a PETA official wearing leather. I also doubt that the roe at celebrity "shindigs" is "poor."

Our pets, including Trig’s best buddy Jill Hadassah, are loved, spoiled and cared for more than some people care for their fellow man whose politics may not mesh with nonsensical liberally failed ways or don’t fit your flighty standards.

So, Palin accused someone else of having "nonsensical" ways? That's rich. Oh, and I think she meant "lofty" standards, not "flighty" standards.

Frankly, some people shouldn't be allowed to adopt pets. This is probably an unwinnable issue, but if I had my druthers I would make it illegal to purchase or adopt a household pet without a rigorous screening process to weed out as many potentially abusive, neglectful dinguses as possible. Question number one: is it okay for your children to stand on top of the dog? If your answer is, "You betcha!" then your kids will have to stalk and abuse wild animals because you won't be permitted to keep a pet in your home.

Along those lines, there's clearly a back-woods glitch in Sarah Palin's walnut-sized brain that allows her believe that it's a wondrous and amazing development that her roughly 50 pound son crushed a dog in order to reach the kitchen sink. It's not as if we're lacking evidence of her incompetence as a political pundit/troll/whatever, but this is obvious evidence that she might not be the brightest Mom in the world either. Again, she not only thought it was acceptable behavior, she also thought it was awesome, and awesome enough to post a triptych of photos on Facebook bragging about it with zero irony. On top of all that, she's defiantly counter-attacked PETA and others who were understandably concerned for the safety of that poor, poor dog. Seriously, that dog is so totally screwed.