Someone Just Bet $1 Million You're Still Ready For Romney

Are you ready for some Romney?!?
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Are you ready for some Romney?!?
ReadyRomney

Are you ready for Romney?Again? Well, someone may be making a lucrative bet that people who failed to vote for Romney in 2012 will somehow magically turn up to vote for him in 2016.

CNN reports that a Ready For Romney super PAC with an accompanying web site launched this week. It's headed by someone named Jeffrey Goff, who a quick FEC disclosure search reveals matches the name of several former low-level Romney donors. People linked to the Romney campaign seem not to know who this is, but TheWeekly Standard does report the website was designed by a teenager for $300.

By all looks, the website is not worth that $300. (Sorry, kid.) But it does look about the way you'd expect Mitt Romney's website to look:

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It even boasts the world's worst biography, which again harrumphs about that stupid Olympics thing he did no one cares about:

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P.S., when Jeb Bush is announcing the same week as you, you better have something a lot better prepared than six sentences riddled with formatting errors.

Politico's Roger Simon has three theories for why another Romney run might be appealing to a particular brand of person: the field of 2016 contenders is weak; Romney would prove popular with the business community; and "there are ex-Romney staffers who need jobs." I can think of a few others, namely that an insane long-shot victory by Romney at the polls would essentially erase one of the most incredibly embarrassing political defeats in recent term memory. Moreover, it would essentially allow the GOP to claim that Obama's second term was a kind of political mulligan. It's a nice self-reassuring political lie: The GOP doesn't need to change because 2012 was a fluke.

Anyone with a lick of political sense already knows a Romney Redux would be an absolute fiasco, not the least because the candidate managed to alienate himself from half the electorate with his 47% remarks. He had little support from either youth or minorities, which CNN's Peter Hamby showed that the candidate was "ideologically out of tune with fast-growing segments of the population." Hamby also noted he was "defined early on by Obama as an outsourcing plutocrat who wanted to let Detroit go bankrupt," something that will look increasingly terrible to an American public more concerned with inequality. If Democrats manage to rally and run a campaign focused on improving lower- and middle-class income and providing a clear contrast to business-friendly GOP policies, another Romney campaign will fare even worse.

Come on. This isn't rocket science. Mitt Romney has about as good a chance of getting struck by lightning while winning the lottery as he does of purging this image from Americans' heads:

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Then there's the fact that the GOP base is never going to accept another Romney campaign when more interesting candidates exist. That's what I can't quite wrap my head around: Whoever is behind this new operation is surely aware that high-profile Republicans like Jeb Bush, Paul Ryan, Chris Christie and Rand Paul as well as a revolving carousel of freaks are ready to toss their hat in the ring.

So why would anyone think Romney would risk it all again? I can think of three credible possibilities. The first is that 2015's brewing political insanity under a one-party GOP Congress packed with far-right whackjobs will make Romney look like a throwback to saner times in comparison. The second is that some Romney backers are just as helplessly out of touch nowadays as they were two years ago. The third is that no one actually does and that this is some kind of mean-spirited and incredibly great prank.

As of Tuesday night, "Ready for Romney" (@ReadyRomney) has gathered a terrifying army of 183 Facebook "likes" and -- wait for it -- 31 Twitter followers. But! One of those followers is "Ready for Romney" with the handle, @ReadyRomney, which has 9 followers.

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Yaaaaawn.

For coverage of an actual credible candidate, meet the Cuban terrorist and mass murderer Jeb Bush secured save haven in Florida for.