Conservatives Even Have a Conspiracy Theory On Michelle Obama's Turnip Video

FLOTUS Derangement Syndrome reaches a new high. Or low, depending on how you want to look at it.
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FLOTUS Derangement Syndrome reaches a new high. Or low, depending on how you want to look at it.
turnip

If there's anything worse than Obama Derangement Syndrome, it's First Lady Michelle Obama Derangement Syndrome, which just reached Ebola-level deadliness with conservative reaction to FLOTUS' viral "Turnip For What?" video. In case you missed it, the First Lady did a Twitter Q&A yesterday to promote healthy eating. Actor Iman Crosson asked her, in character as President Obama, "How many calories do you burn every time you 'turn up'?!"

Here's how the First Lady responded:

The response, as has been overexplained by every website on the internet, is a parody of Li'l Jon's "Turn Down For What," which was parodied by its creators for Rock The Vote recently. Reaction to the First Lady's joke has been universally along the lines of "Best Vine Ever!"

Well, almost.

Reaction among conservative websites has been slightly less positive. Breitbart sourly noted, "The meme is not original, as the pun has surfaced on the internet in response to the popular song by DJ Snake & Lil Jon," while the Fire Andrea Mitchell blog went full "Get off my LAWN!" on FLOTUS:

Michelle Obama turnip for what ‘dance’ is I guess the new sensation in Washington DC. Remember when the 1st Lady of America actually had dignity and class?

...I guess this is supposed to be hip-hop or something? If Michelle Obama thinks her turnip for what dance is going to get obese kids to eat more vegatables, then she is as dumb as her busband. I wonder if Valerie Jarrett OKed this pitiful display?

And then he yelled at a cloud. I'm not sure what "busband" means, but I bet it's some new racial slur.

Not all right-wing sites took the same route, though. Glenn Beck's TheBlaze presented the video neutrally, and with a handily nerdy explainer:

As the youths say, to “turn up” is “the state of being wild and crazy, like someone would be at a party.” The concept was immortalized in the 2013 song, “Turn Down for What.”

Turn up. Turnip. See what happened there?

Most Comically Deranged Reaction, though, has to go to the denizens of the Batshit Half-Basement That Michelle Malkin Built, Twitchy. Not content to slap together ten witless tweets from conservatives and call it a day, the Twitchy team came up with a brilliant conspiracy theory:

Dear Lord. Imagine being one of Michelle Obama’s daughters and having to show up at school after this. Let’s hope Sasha and Malia’s Secret Service detail has some sort of protocol for dealing with public ridicule. (Also, you can totally tell that the question and answer weren’t totally staged. Totally.)

Yeah, TOTALLY! They probably made the staging look extra-real by taking eight hours to answer the guy, and by not staging it with one of the eleventy actors who are more famous for impersonating Barack Obama. And where is Michelle Obama supposed to find a turnip at the White House?!?

While conservatives have a well-known hatred of President Obama, there's something special about a hostility that can turn people against making your kids eat their vegetables, which, as far back as I can remember, has always been the squarest possible thing you could do. Michelle Obama should start promoting guns and bacon, just to mess with them.