Oh for God's Sake, Do NOT Call the Kid Who Had a Threesome with Two Female Teachers a "Victim"

If he's a victim, then I want to be one too. Hell, every guy I know wanted to be that kind of victim at his age.
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Chez Pazienza
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If he's a victim, then I want to be one too. Hell, every guy I know wanted to be that kind of victim at his age.
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When I was 17, I saw one of my high school teachers having sex. Long story, but the gist of it is that she and I were relatively friendly beyond the typical student-teacher relationship and when I didn't have an assignment finished that was due on a Friday, she told me to just run it by her place and drop it off at some point over the upcoming weekend. I decided to do this late the following night, on a Saturday, while a friend and I were out drinking. Since we happened to be in the neighborhood, we pulled into her driveway and I put the paper, sealed in a manila envelope, on her doorstep.

As I did this, though, my friend got out of the car and decided to have a look around her house, for reasons that can only be explained by extreme intoxication combined with general teenage mischief. A minute or so later, as I was writing my teacher a note to leave with the paper, I heard him call out to me in a whisper-shout to come here. I did and it turned out he was looking into her window -- wrong, I know -- and when I did the same, there she was on top of her husband in bed. I admit it: I was mesmerized for good few seconds before finally panicking over the possibility of the two of us being seen or having the cops called on us.

We got the hell out of there but the following Monday at school I couldn't take my eyes off her. Never looked at her the same way again, for obvious reasons.

I bring this up because, let's be honest here, I wanted her. I wanted her badly. I thought she was attractive before I stumbled across her having sex and God knows she was the star of every one of my teenage fantasies afterward. There isn't a heterosexual male who, while in high school, didn't imagine having sex with a female teacher. Jesus, my very first hardcore sexual attraction was to one of my middle school teachers. If the teacher I watched riding a guy into the ground had offered, I would've been undressed in the time it takes you to say, "That's a really terrible idea." So while we're going through the necessary motions of calling the 16-year-old who allegedly had a threesome with two female teachers at his Louisiana high school a "victim," let's please remember something: he fucking isn't. He sure as hell doesn't think he is, seeing as how he understandably bragged about it to basically anybody he got within three feet of. (Because really what good is being laid by two women at the same time if you can't tell anybody about it? That's a tree you don't want to fall in a remote forest.)

In case you haven't heard the full story yet, Shelley Dufresne, 32, and Rachel Respess, 24 -- both English teachers at Destrehan High School in Kenner, Louisiana -- were arrested and are now facing felony charges of having carnal knowledge of a juvenile, contributing to the delinquency of a juvenile and indecent behavior with a juvenile. It stems from an alleged encounter they had with a 16-year-old student after a football game last year. Police say the three went back to the home of one of the teachers and had sex until the "early morning hours." The relationship between the teachers and the student supposedly continued and the kid says he even has some of their encounters on video. The age of consent in Louisiana is 17 which means that the student is, as of now, legal.

Now let's be clear: if this is all true then what the teachers did was both wrong and shockingly stupid. They've obliterated their careers, their lives and, in the case of Dufresne, the lives of a husband and three young children. It's hard to wrap your head around the excuses one high school teacher might make for sleeping with a student, let alone two. If the police case is solid, these two are fucked -- and not in the way they intended. There's no arguing with the fact that their behavior was pretty awful because they're older and in a position of some authority and they should know better.

But they didn't exercise one bit of that authority over the 16-year-old guy they allegedly had sex with. That kid went very willingly, I guarantee it. Sure, it's easy to see why, to avoid a double-standard were the genders reversed, we have no choice but to clutch our pearls and paint the teenage boy who apparently got fucked by two older women into the wee hours of the morning as some guileless lamb or unfortunate casualty. That's exactly what the cops are doing. "No matter what sex the victim is, everyone should be outraged," says Kenner Police Chief Michael Glaser, no doubt admirably stifling a chuckle as the word "victim" comes out of his mouth. But while he may technically be on the receiving end of criminal behavior, this kid is no "victim." If he's a victim, then I want to be one too. Hell, every guy I know wanted to be that kind of victim at his age.

Victim. Bullshit. This kid's a god.