Last week, former Dildo Boat Captain James O'Keefe and his 70s porn mustache promised to humiliate the doubters who were pointing and laughing at his latest attempt at dress-up. Mother Jones' David Corn stole O'Keefe's thunder by reporting on several Colorado Democratic organizations that busted O'Keefe and his hidden-camera minions trying to entrap them into various forms of electile dysfunction. When O'keefe did release the videos from his latest sting operation, though, that footage was mysteriously missing!
Instead, O'Keefe's Project Veritas Action produced seven minutes and change of carefully edited footage that has resulted in the firing of two randos at independent organizations, but only three actual cases of attempted voter fraud. Here's my cut of O'Keefe's investigation:
I know that cut seems a little bit incomplete, but you can watch the whole thing here at Wonkette, where O'Keefe's flack also helpfully explained why they didn't release all that footage of Democrats beclowning him:
Project Veritas Action does not release raw or unedited tapes or reporters’ notes of investigations. This policy ensures compliance with federal and state laws while providing the best privacy protection for individuals recorded. The reporting process and methods of Project Veritas Action are proven successful and effective and are the protected intellectual property and trade secrets of Project Veritas Action.
If you don't want to watch the whole thing, at least check out the opening minute or so, just so you can get a load of the camcorder display graphic that would never appear on any actual video footage, ever. I guess Veritas viewers would otherwise become confused, and think there were tiny people trapped in their color-boxes.
So, the only people tying to commit voter fraud in James O'Keefe's voter fraud investigation are James O'Keefe and his minions, but that hasn't stopped O'Keefe from bitterly tweeting about his tremendous success, like this retweet of a humblebrag about making the local news:
The devil is in the details, though. That local news report, entitled, "Will voter fraud be a problem in Colorado?", answers itself with a big old "nope," even from the Republican Secretary of State who stars in O'Keefe's video, Scott Gessler. It seems that even if you do fish all those mail-in ballots out of the trash, you still have to get the signatures right. But my favorite is this bit from a much longer feud O'Keefe is picking with Mother Jones' David Corn, who won a Polk award for his reporting on the Mitt Romney 47% tape:
Yes, and why do girls like David Corn more than James O'Keefe, when they both use hidden camera footage? Life is so not even fair, you guys!
Corn, for his part, has continued to urge O'Keefe to release the footage he took of Democratic staffers making a fool out of him, but O'Keefe is too busy reveling in the career detritus of the low-level fringe players he managed to ensnare to do much of anything else.
This is probably one of the bigger fails in an overall fail-y effort to prop up racist voter ID laws and other suppression tactics, made all the more delicious by O'Keefe's orgasmic relish that the Greenpeace worker, when repeatedly pressed, told O'Keefe to look for discarded ballots in "ghetto Aurora." Pay no attention to the assault on voting rights behind the curtain.