Eric Cantor Will Now Stare Deeply Into Your Soul

A once-proud man's website is now but a desolate netherworld.
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A once-proud man's website is now but a desolate netherworld.
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There was this guy, his name was Eric Cantor. Maybe you don't remember him but he was once the majority leader of a great political organization: the U.S. House of Representatives. He was a man of immense power and influence in America. But that was long ago, before the dark times.

After being soundly and improbably toppled by a political neophyte named Dave Brat at the beginning of the summer of 2014, Cantor seemed to fade away into obscurity, possibly choosing to walk the earth alone in search of some great truth -- or at the very least a series of high-paying speaking engagements. But alas, he remains little more than a vapor trail in our collective consciousness.

What was once his personal website, the online home for all things Cantorian, is now nothing more than what you see here: a picture of Eric Cantor that, when clicked, goes nowhere.

This is all that is left:

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But still, stare deeply into those eyes. There is movement. There is life there. Cantor is summoning something.

Arise from R'lyeh deep beneath the eldritch waters, curse of the ancient ones. Come forth and unleash my vengeance upon those whose ignorance left me in this wretched place. Bring madness and chaos to humanity and with it the promise of everlasting suffering as history itself unravels. For as their world is torn asunder, they will finally know -- that I HAVE RETURNED.

(h/t Mediaite)