WATCH: John Boehner Compares Himself to a Creepy Horror-Movie Monkey

It's literally 41 seconds of John Boehner in various settings with a creepy horror-movie toy monkey.
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It's literally 41 seconds of John Boehner in various settings with a creepy horror-movie toy monkey.
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Enough. I don't want to hear anything else from the congressional Republicans about President Obama's golf game or "bad optics" -- not after watching the new video released by Speaker John Boehner (R-OH). Briefly put, it's a video about his toy monkey. I'm not making that up.

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It's literally 41 seconds of John Boehner in various settings with a creepy horror-movie toy monkey. Two of the shots in the video are especially bizarre. Right at the very beginning, Boehner just stares into the camera with the monkey on his knee as if to curse you with the devilish powers of his evil monkey. In another shot, Boehner and several children are possessed by the monkey's hypnotic laughing and cymbal-smashing, surely motivating them to hide under a bed like Gage from Pet Sematary, waiting to slash your Achilles tendon with a scalpel.

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The apparent point of the video is that Boehner feels like a wind-up monkey because he has so much work to do. Sheesh. Talk about bad optics. The man who's third in line for the presidency not only privately feels like a toy monkey, but he's willing to videotape himself talking about this monkey-metaphor while literally playing with a toy monkey.

Yeah, it's doubtful that any video from the 2014 midterms will top this one, simply for its semi-insane weirdness.

The leader of the congressional Republicans, folks. And his monkey.

Sleep tight.

Adding... Thanks, Mr. Speaker, for making my job a little easier today.