A**hole Todd Starnes Wants Obama To Offer Condolences To Cop Who Killed Michael Brown

Todd Starnes is a professional asshole. The Fox News contributor has made a career out of trolling his political and ideological adversaries online, always being the first to unleash some smarmy, news-related bon mot like, say, tweeting after the shooting down of MH17 that President Obama wouldn’t care about it because it didn’t involve “beer or golf.” He’s scared shitless of gay people and never misses an opportunity to remind us all of the myriad ways the gay conspiracy is coming for our children. He has a bug up his ass about the supposed ongoing war on Christianity, the one that, as you know, has had a dreadfully serious impact on the number of Christians in this country and their power and influence in politics. He once even demanded that South Park be the target of a federal investigation for committing blasphemy. So, yeah, he’s just that fucking comically awful.

With this in mind, it won’t surprise you at all to learn that Todd Starnes is very concerned about the President’s reaction to the shooting of an unarmed black teenager by police in Ferguson, MO. Yesterday, Obama released a statement in which he called the events in Ferguson, both the shooting and the violence that’s followed, “heartbreaking.” Needless to say, that’s not good enough for Todd Starnes, who wants to know why the president has offered his condolences to the family of Michael Brown but not the cop who shot and killed him. True, that still unidentified police officer isn’t dead, but facts like that are no match for as talented a troll as Todd Starnes.

See? Asshole.

I’ve got to give it up for Mediaite, though, who not only passed along documentation of Starnes’s latest Twitter tantrum but also created for him his own potential contribution to the #IfTheyGunnedMeDown social media hashtag crusade.

Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 10.59.02 AM

Remember the idea behind this: two separate side-by-side pictures are submitted, one in which the person submitting the shot appears menacing and the other where he appears completely harmless.

I don’t know about these two shots of Todd Starnes, though. In both of them, he looks like a child-molesting doomsday prepper who’s ready to drink his own urine if it comes to that.

  • sidsolo

    Seems to me, everyone you guys love are the A**holes!

  • maccamcfc

    He looks so natural holding that gun.

  • bamabrasiliera

    I HATE closeted homosexuals who overcompensate!

  • David L.

    Todd Starnes is a professional asshole. The Fox News contributor (…)

    =

    Todd Starnes is a Fox News contributor. The professional asshole (…)

    Don´t see no difference here. Commutative property and all that.

  • Peter James

    >>>>”I don’t know about these two shots of Todd Starnes, though. In both of them, he looks like a child-molesting doomsday prepper who’s ready to drink his own urine if it comes to that.”

    Comedy gold!!!!

    • HilaryB

      Seriously. I was just thinking he looked like a big dork until I read that last sentence. Chez’s description is much more fitting.

  • Jason E

    He’s wearing his punch me face in both pictures. Gods con man

  • Victor_the_Crab

  • Matthew J

    I think simply “scared shitless” without the qualifiers is more to the point.

    It’s my considered belief that at the absolute core of modern conservatism beats a heart of pure cowardice. Everything, and I mean everything, in conservative philosophy starts with them being afraid of something, mostly change, even if it’s change for the better.

    So, while gay people do scare them, that’s not all. Facts scare them. “Big Government” scares them. Non-whites scare them. The poor scare them. Non-Christians scare them. Empathy scares them. Science scares them. Being responsible members of society scares them. Independent thought scares them.

    They lie, cheat and steal yet accept no responsibility for their actions while claiming others are the ones who need to take said responsibility.

    They lash out in the most ugly ways because that’s what cowards do.

  • Ashes Defacto

    The weapon he’s holding in the picture on the right is a rifle developed in Nazi Germany and favored by the Waffen SS. Although it is of historical value I’d never want to be pictured with one. Suggests everything you care to know about this crumb.

  • http://www.facebook.com/felonious.grammar Felonious Grammar

    O.K., I’ll do it— “I’m truly sorry that you’re a murdering criminal with a badge.”

    Better?

  • R.W. Yake

    I suspect this goof is a closet queen, hence the irrational fear of gay people.

  • gocart mozart

    The guy on the right with the gun looks harmless enough but the guy on the left looks like a child molester holding a gallon of urine.

    • http://www.facebook.com/felonious.grammar Felonious Grammar

      The price tag hanging off the gun tempers the image.

  • Tommygun

    Now, now, “ALLEGED” child molester. Just like Starnes “alleged” the unarmed teen who was shot eight times, first in the back, attacked an armed police officer.

  • leemoder

    I dunno…something about this guy tells me he has a closet full of little shoes.

  • Bosma

    So…..this guy is Dennis the Troll?