The Real Enemies Aren’t Undocumented Immigrants, They’re Rick Perry and Sean Hannity

For the last several days, the above photo of Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) and Sean Hannity has haunted me. During the current unhinged freakout surrounding immigration reform and, specifically, the Central American teens and children being held by the U.S. after having entered the country via the Mexican border, I can’t help but to the think that the true threats to the U.S. aren’t undocumented immigrants, be they adults or children, but rather these dinguses:

When I see this photo, taken at the Texas/Mexico border late last week and tweeted out by Hannity, I see more than just a pair of brainless conservative poseurs whom William F. Buckley would’ve laughed out of his movement 40 years ago, yet who are now two of the standard-bearers of what’s left of that movement. When I see this photo, I see more than a slack-jawed Southern governor and a paint-by-numbers Fox News polemicist. I see two men who are illustrative of everything that is, in Jon Stewart’s words, “hurting America.”

Just look at the photo again.

Beginning with the obvious, they’re white middle-aged men. That right there is enough to raise eyebrows. As a middle-aged white guy myself, I don’t mind indicting my own: yes, middle-aged white men are trouble. The reasons are self-evident. Toss into the mix the availability of a growing variety of pharmaceuticals and Cromagnon tire-flipping workouts designed to amplify the pseudo-dementia that accompanies being a white male in the throes of mid-life, and the trouble [cough] grows. But, really, are middle-aged white men annoying and obnoxious? Oh, yes. Are they dangerous on a macro societal level? Not quite, no, at least no more so than white men in general. But stay with me, there’s much more to this puzzle.

Hannity and Perry are men of significant means: wealthy and privileged. This gives them fuck-you power. So, now, we see middle-aged white men with fuck-you power. The danger begins to gurgle to the surface.

Peel the onion a little further, and we recall that both Hannity and Perry are far-right conservatives. But not just any far-right conservatives. These two far-right conservative middle-aged white men comport themselves as hard-line ideologues, pandering to the very worst, most ignorant and intolerant instincts of the Republican base. I write “comport themselves as ideologues” because it’s unclear whether either is sincere in his worldview beyond what it can achieve in terms of personal wealth and prestige. I don’t think I’m the only one to notice how both Perry and Hannity never seem entirely sincere or authentic — neither seems to particularly care much beyond careerism, higher office and ratings, and so they’ll say and do whatever is necessary to stir up the misplaced nationalism and, in the case of this photo, the anti-immigrant bigotry of their most rabid disciples. Now we’re getting into dangerous territory.

Let’s talk about the paramilitary regalia. Here’s that tweet again.

There’s the trying-too-hard sunglasses on an overcast day (none of the border patrolmen are wearing shades), the khaki, the denim and why the hell is Hannity wearing what appears to be a Kevlar flack-jacket? I kind of understand that there might be a security issue with the governor, but Hannity had to dress up in body armor, too? Really? Taken as a whole, it’s a lot of military dress ‘em up for a guy who never served. Perry, on the other hand, served in the Air Force, so he gets to dress up in whatever fatigues he sees fit for a governor. But as we witnessed most recently with the Bundy Ranch fiasco, too many guys in the Perry/Hannity demographic (far-right, conservative, middle-aged, white, male) fancy themselves to be militias of one, stockpiling weapons from Dick’s Sporting Goods and posting falsely-attributed Thomas Jefferson quotes on Twitter.

And right here we have a perfect example of this silliness: a pair of doughy white guys auditioning for Stallone’s next Expendables sequel:

This, of course, leads us to the 5.56 millimeter elephant in the room. It’s almost disgusting to see them grappled onto that locked and loaded weapon like the cast photo of a really douchey remake of Apocalypse Now. If you look carefully, Perry has one knee perched under the gun as if he’s about to or just finished humping the thing. Seriously, though, they appear to be issuing a clear warning: if you, Pedro, try to cross the river from Mexico, this American-made motherfucker will blast you into hundreds of indistinct hunks of meat. So… go ahead, make my day.

It’s worth reiterating that this photo-op is in direct response to the current situation involving unaccompanied, undocumented kids entering the U.S. And these border patrol cosplayers decided to respond by posing with both heavily armed guards and a high-powered mounted rifle with action-hero scowls on their stupid faces (complete with TV makeup) — you know, to intimidate Guatemalan children as if they’re Vietcong guerrillas perched in the Shit along the banks of the Mekong Delta.


June 25, 2014: A group of immigrants from Honduras and El Salvador who crossed the U.S.-Mexico border illegally are stopped in Granjeno, Texas. (AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Talk about overcompensating.

And we wonder why deeply troubled people like Adam Lanza and Jared Lee Loughner solve their problems by emptying the extended magazines of their AR-15s in public places like schools and movie theaters. Rather than projecting the rational idea of negotiating a reasonable immigration reform package, Hannity and Perry opted instead to suggest that a rifle loaded with rounds bigger than their penises is the only real way to deal with the border issue. That’s not to say the border patrol should stand down, but wallowing in the militarism of it only makes matters worse, with the thumbs-up photos and the farcical notion that the president has to personally mime Hannity’s hat-on-backwards rifle-boner pics or else it’s his Katrina.

Given the choice between immigrants entering the U.S. with a path to citizenship or Hannity and Perry with their smirky, middle-aged white itchy trigger fingers, faux badassery and gun fetishes, I’ll take the immigrants in a heartbeat. So should we all.

  • Jake

    Sean Hannitty has girl-hands – just sayin’.

  • Mr_Democrat

    Brilliant, Bob.
    Thank You, Sir.

  • Jake

    I notice no reference is made to what pants these two idiots are wearing. My guess is brown cords – for rear camouflage – a la that other nation protector Ted Nugent

  • Star

    test

  • Howienica

    That was the worst piece of writing I have seen in a long time.

    Who is this self-hating middle aged white man?

  • GeeOPee

    With any luck one or both men will end up like Dick Cheney’s duck hunting “friend”.

  • HilaryB

    “If you look carefully, Perry has one knee perched under the gun as if he’s about to or just finished humping the thing.”

    That sentence just reminded me of the second Austin Powers movie. “Mini-me, stop humping the laser.” Lol.

  • Jake

    All I see are two men with shockingly-small-penis syndrome. I pity them.

    • Howienica

      There is an awful lot of talk about small penis’ on this site.

      Is that a requirement to be a pissed off radical?

      • beulahmo

        No, apparently the “pissed off radical” requirement is having the small-penis-anxiety-syndrome, and dealing with it by having lots of big guns and ammo and acting out embarrassing and sad cosplay like Hannity&Perry here, instead of talking about it.

  • Bosma

    Here is another thing which I don’t think anyone has mentioned. IF those two actually saw someone come into view behind them, in that photo, who looked like they just crossed a border illegally, my guess is that neither one would turn around and actually fire upon anyone. AND if that group of illegals who came upon them did look dangerous or had guns or whatever, chances are those two would not grab that gun and start shooting, nor, my guess, neither would they even know how to fire it. That is the definition of a photo op right there.

    • Midge Baker

      Wouldn’t you just love to set off firecrackers behind them?

  • phreethink

    Any possibility that we can start calling “far right conservatives” by a more accurate name: “far right radicals.” True conservatives want to preserve what they view as valuable, established institutions. The far right radicals want to destroy our established governmental institutions as well as the social compact under which we because a world power.

    • Regina Wanassa

      “Right Wing Extremists” works well too.

    • feloniousgrammar

      I don’t want to pervert the better meaning of “radical” which is of the root.

    • beulahmo

      I think I understand your concern. I’m having trouble with this too. Over the years of observing this kind of behavior in the U.S., I’ve always (for my own understanding) tried to maintain a distinction when looking at “movements” that have violence incorporated into their mission: they may claim an ideological motivation, but the violence often negates any reason (in my opinion) to take their claims of ideological motivation seriously. In other words, I think they’re only using ideology as an excuse to act on a deeper desire, which is to commit violence against an opponent.

      Until now, high-profile politicians and pundits have been careful to denounce movements that embrace violence as part of their mission. Unfortunately, Rick Perry and Sean Hannity will not be denounced by more “responsible” high-profile conservatives, and this gives their behavior a sort of acquiescent normalcy in today’s right-wing political culture. So using today’s political culture as the point of reference, this behavior isn’t really “radical” anymore, is it? Perhaps it’s radical in relation to 1990s right-wing political cultural standards?

  • Gunnut2600

    So if you’re a black teen walking in a neighborhood, you get fucking shot by some wanabe rent a cop, but white folk just go around posting pics of themselves on twitter threatening to innocent people. When is white Jesse Jackson (who the fuck is that? O Reily…that mother fucker blood thirsty enough for you?) gonna answer for the deaths and devastation of white people?

    Yall had to steal rock and roll, fucking ruining it in the process…is there anything white people don’t destroy?!?

  • Regina Wanassa

    “I lament with you that I have had an occasion of seeing ungenerous sentiments in American hearts.”

    ~Marquis de La Fayette to Geo. Washington, 1778.

    Not an ideally contextualized parallel, but I’ve just read this letter and it seemed a good fit. :)

    I’m reminded of it here because the Marquis noted an underlying “illiberality and ungratefulness” inconsonant with how he described the American spirit when he wrote to his wife a year earlier; sentiments like this one from June 7, 1777 during his transatlantic voyage to America:

    “The happiness of America is intimately connected with the happiness of all mankind; she will become the safe and respected asylum of virtue, integrity, tolerance, equality, and tranquil happiness.”

    and after his arrival, June 15th:

    “The manners in this part of the world are simple, polite, and worthy in every respect of the country in which the noble name of liberty is constantly repeated.”

    In 1778 the Marquis was quick to identify a caustic element hostile to everything that America stood for and strived for. Hannity, Perry, and their ilk embody a similar caustic element of “illiberality” and ungraciousness. Stewart is exactly right. It is this noxious festering and fundamentally Anti-American spirit that is “hurting America.”

    These disgraceful opportunists represent the lowliest of contemptible depths. They taint, and are unworthy of, “the noble name of liberty.”

  • muselet

    As I said just last week, those poses show just what imbeciles Perry and Hannity are (and if that gun had discharged during their selfies, they’d still be peeing themselves).

    The saddest thing about that photo isn’t that Rick Perry and Sean Hannity think it makes them look butch, but rather that a fair number of Americans think it makes those two chowderheads look butch.

    –alopecia

  • Matthew J

    So, Sean, Governor, what’s your next logical step, here? You gonna go find a pesky group of unarmed kids crossing the border and rip them apart with that thing?

    That your idea immigration policy?

    Yee-haw … brazos …

  • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

    Bob, you made one tiny error. That “high-powered mounted rifle” is an M-249 light machine gun, aka Squad Automatic Weapon (SAW).

    • Matthew J

      So, does that mean a machine gun that fires 5.56 mm rounds at a maximum capacity of 1000 rounds per minute is not “high-powered”? I mean, it is mounted and considered to be both a machine gun and a rifle.

      • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

        Tactically, it’s not a rifle. The SAW is designed to throw lots of rounds downrange for suppression fire — see that huge magazine?

        • blair houghton

          Technically, if it’s rifled, it’s a rifle. But who’s getting technical when there’s miniature wogs to be tagged and bagged?

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            This is my rifle, this is my gun…

        • feloniousgrammar

          Have you seen the “Tactical” flashlight sold at a box store near you? The word has been chewed up and spit out. A weapon being “literally tactical” is lost in translation, as well.

          But in the case of right wing emotarian gun nuts, their weapons are strategic most of the time; looking tough and overcompensating is the mission. In the face of actual fire being returned, the odds that this weapon would be used “tactically” are minuscule, don’t ya’ think?

          This weapon in these moments captured in these pics (a tactical move) is a prop.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            Correct that it is a prop! And the point I’m making is that Perry and Hannity are standing in front of a very particular kind of prop — one that civilians don’t get to handle. The presidential-candidate subtext is: “we keep you safe from bad guys.”

            “Tactical” has a very different meaning even for warriors than it used to. When Ulysses S. Grant wrote about “tactics” in his autobiography, what he described was actually closer to what we call “drill and ceremonies” today — the complicated task of getting men to march to their doom in neat rows. Today’s officer uses the word to describe her methods for attacking an enemy position by fire and maneuver using cover and concealment to minimize casualties. So the idea behind the word “tactics” has always involved training and equipping a single unit to win battles.

            Like most military terminology, the word has definitely been abused by civilian marketing. “Tactical” means that when you roll around in your pearl white V-12 diesel pickup truck with dual rear wheels, the camo on your shotgun rack lets other drivers know that you would be off-roading right now through brush and bramble if only it wouldn’t hurt the resale value of your vehicle so much ;)

        • Matthew J

          According to the Military Analysis Network, “Although the M249 AR is primarily used as an automatic rifle , it is also used as a light machine gun.

          Technically, it functions as a rifle and a light machine gun. If it weren’t a rifle (with rifling) it would have a range of 2.23 miles.

          Plus they “add the firepower of 10 or 20 riflemen without the addition of manpower.”

          http://fas.org/man/dod-101/sys/land/m249.htm

          Just, you know, if you want to get technical.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            How technical is it that I handled one, drilled with it, carried it, fired it, cleaned it, and could still execute the manual of arms with one right now? It’s like riding a bicycle…one that sprays bullets :)

          • Matthew J

            Good for you, I carried an M16 (which was not the best of weapons).

            But it doesn’t change the fact that it technically functions as both a rifle and a light machine gun, as per the manufacturer — regardless of the official military designation. WE both know they get things wrong.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            M16A1 or A2?

            Lost in this exchange is the point I wanted Bob to take away, which is that the weapon in the picture is one that civilians are rarely ever allowed to handle.

        • LoewLife

          Since we’re getting technical here: the machine gun in question isn’t magazine fed at all but rather belt fed. The ammo can in the picture holds a belt of 200 rounds but one can make a belt as long as desired by linking many together.

          I swear I’m not trying to pick you apart Osborne, I am just a bit of a firearms enthusiast.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            Actually, the SAW has a magazine port above the chamber. This is so it can use M16 magazines should the tactical situation require. I drilled with magazines as well as a belt.

            http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d5/Bren1.jpg

          • LoewLife

            I stand corrected.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            NBD, I honestly didn’t mean to turn this into a thread about the technical specifications of a particular weapon system. LOL

          • LoewLife

            I stand corrected.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      What’s the caliber of the rounds?

      • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

        Standard NATO 5.56 mm cartridges. It’s basically a fully-automatic M-16.

        • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

          Gotcha. Corrected.

        • LoewLife

          I hate to be the guy correcting the correction, but to me it looks more like an M240 than an M249. M240 would also make more sense as a vehicle mounted weapon because it’s larger 7.62mm round has greater range and destructive power with the mount absorbing most of the recoil while the M249 is more of an infantry machine gun because its smaller 5.56 round is considerably lighter for the person who has to lug around 200+ rounds on foot.

          Again, I know it’s a really minor point to be making about a throwaway line that doesn’t change the meaning of the article but again, I just can’t help myself. 7.62 millimeter.

          Regardless, great article, Bob.

          • http://www.osborneink.com/ OsborneInk

            Granted, it’s been a long time, but I used to carry my team’s M249. I also carried a 7.62 mm M60 later on, which has a much more intimidating bark. The ammo in that picture looks like 5.56 mm to me. I suppose we could call the TX Gov’s press office and ask?

  • Churchlady320

    Looking at the photo it strikes me that if you’re on the water, a life jacket is far more sensible than a flak jacket. One dunk in the river, you would be weighed down and…

    • JozefAL

      What’s your point? I say, give them all the flak jackets they want. If one will stop one bullet fired from 10 feet away, let ‘em put on 100. Give ‘em that sense of security then–just accidentally mind you–bump ‘em so they fall into the river.

  • Churchlady320

    Spare us from Rambo Wannabes whose flab outweighs their IQs.

  • cablejunkie

    remember when shammity played DR.marcus welby with terri schivao,now he is a real live make believe border patrol agent.

    • feloniousgrammar

      Oh, Gawd— that poor woman.

  • cablejunkie

    a real tuff tv guy this shammity

  • Dizivi

    It’s a way to prove their masculinity…without actually having to prove it. See? It’s enough for the right-winger yokels.

    • Churchlady320

      Symbol and show bypass reality with the GOP. It’s why ‘Family Values’ spoken by these dudes always trumps their adultery, wide stances, rent boys, and even drugs. As long as the pretense remains, the actual behavior becomes irrelevant.

  • CL Nicholson

    Rich Middle Aged White Guys showing up with Way Too Many Guns to ‘greet’ a brown underclass? The story of America.

    • feloniousgrammar

      Yes, these are pre-lynching photo ops.

  • LoewLife

    Hmm. Based on the picture I’d say that it’s more of a 7.62 mm elephant in the room. Sorry, I’m in the military and I have firearm OCD.

  • Badgerite

    “So should we all.” Amen.
    I’m guessing they were all dressed up to take on a really mean passel of ducks.
    But who knows.

  • captkurt

    They’re wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day because both are baked out of their minds. Hannity is wearing the Kevlar vest because someone told him Dick Cheney might be joining them.

  • don

    Your piece was good until:

    “And we wonder why deeply troubled people like Adam Lanza and Jared Lee Loughner have been solving their problems by emptying the extended magazines of their AR-15s in public places like schools and movie theaters.”

    This cultural therapy of blaming gun owners for mass shootings is at least as dangerous as the gun owners. Its like blaming Taco Bell patrons or Freezer companies for Jeffery Dalmer.

    And, hey, some of my best friends are Middle Aged White Guys (MAWGs is the hip slang is). I had one over to dinner just last week. They are not bad people. Just misunderstood ;). And, the divorced ones are really happy people and not a threat to marriage at all contrary to what a lot of married suburban women say. :).

    • Toolymegapoopoo

      “Its like blaming Taco Bell patrons or Freezer companies for Jeffery Dalmer (sic).”

      I could tell you where you can shove your false equivalencies but I don’t have the time. Gun owners are responsible for pathetically easy and unfettered access to weapons designed specifically to kill a large number of human targets in a very short period of time. There is no equivalent. Period.

      • blair houghton

        Correct. You don’t see Taco Bell lobbying for the rights of cannibals.

        • don

          Have you heard anyone anywhere argue for the rights of mass shooters beyond due process and Miranda rights?

          As for Taco Bell and cannibalism: corporations cannibalize other corporations all the time. But that’s another thread.

          • blair houghton

            The NRA does. It honestly doesn’t care who buys a gun, as long as one is sold and the money gets back to the manufacturer who contributed to the NRA.

    • http://www.twitter.com/bobcesca_go Bob Cesca

      First of all, I’m 43 and admitted to my middle-aged white guy status.

      Secondly, I wasn’t blaming gun owners. I blamed the idea that violence is the first and reasonable way to solve problems.

      • don

        I don’t know. A REAL MAWG never admits to his age past 40

    • ssj

      He did not blame it on all “gun owners.” He blamed it on “deeply troubled people like….” There is a significant difference.

  • formerlywhatithink

    Agree with everything you said, but I believe that that is a mounted SAW (Squad Automatic Weapon) and not a .50 cal.

    And, I’d like to add the obligatory reminder that Hannity still hasn’t allowed himself to be waterboarded as he said he would.

    • Toolymegapoopoo

      Just think of how much money he could raise for charity if he auctioned off the opportunity to be his torturer. Oh wait, charity requires empathy. Nevermind.

    • blair houghton

      Doesn’t really matter what it is; they can always change it by going to the loadout screen…

  • beardsley james

    even though i come from a wimpy state whose governor would never wear camouflage or be photographed with an assault rifle (thanks a lot, deval patrick!), i don’t think it’s very manly to have that moussed, tousled hair both men favor, and designer eye wear? isn’t that a better look for choosing fabric for your window treatments?

    • D_C_Wilson

      But Rick has presidential hair!

      • beardsley james

        presidential hair is very short and curly, turning a bit grey.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    Just how insecure and overcompensating does one have to be to wear full body armour and carry ammunition bigger than their penises just so they can protect themselves from terrified children crossing the US-Mexican border? Perry and Hannity are faux men acting like macho assholes.

    • Howienica

      A 5.56?

      You must have a pretty small penis.

      • Victor_the_Crab

        Don’t project your shortcomings onto me, troll.

  • Nefercat

    And they have the fucking gall to whine about the President and photo-ops? Can you imagine the uproar if the President said sure, okay, you’re right, I can’t possibly have an idea what’s going on at the border unless I am right there? And then turned up in this stupid fat-assed couch potato video game badassery?

    However, as loathsome as these two cockroaches are, I am so glad they are wearing protection against all the high powered weaponry those children have been wielding. Oh, wait… Chickenshit cowards.

    • Churchlady320

      As he does, the President would have talked to the children. Then the RW meme would screech he was coddling terrorists. He knows that. He’s not going.

    • Howienica

      Man, that”s a lot of hate!

      I guess that Anger Management didn’t take.

  • D_C_Wilson

    What strikes me about the Hannity/Perry cosplay is the self-centeredness of it. It’s not about the situation in Central America or any existential threat to our country. It’s not even about the practical concerns of what to do with this children and teens once they arrive here. No, it’s all about them. It’s about how can they exploit this situation to look like tough guys, advance their careers, and, most importantly, how can they blame this whole mess on Obama.

    Oh, and I eagerly await Dennis’ “You’re being totally dishonest” post of the day in response to this article.

    • feloniousgrammar

      Most forms of toxic masculinity are self-centered and douche-baggy. I can see these men pouting and being dickish during holidays and children’s birthdays because they are what they’re all about and if they’re not the center of attention, they’re somehow being robbed.

      If I could wave a feminist magic wand, I would convince most men and the menz that if they have a penis and are adult, then they’re men. Then we could move on and talk about much more pressing needs than how manly any particular man is feeling at any particular time, and oh, shouldn’t we be impressed.

      These two are flaunting their white male privilege, which gives them the right to threaten anyone they think beneath them. They’re insufferable pricks.

      • beardsley james

        for macho guys, holidays and children’s birthdays are the best times to watch sports on tv.

      • Howienica

        Let me guess.

        You are on your 4th. marriage.

    • Howienica

      It can be blamed on Obama because he has been President for almost 6 years.

      It ain’t that complicated.

      • D_C_Wilson

        So, what did he do, specifically?

        And no, claiming he told the drug cartels that the kids would be welcomed here doesn’t wash.

        • Howienica

          I have lived in Nicaragua for over 10 years.

          Everything Obama has done since he has been in office has convinced people in Mexico and Central America that if they want to come to America illegally now, during his administration, is the time to do it

          How has he proved it?

          Simple.

          Every year, more and more people make it into the U.S. illegally and fewer and fewer come back.

          Of the ones that stay. virtually no one gets hassled anymore.

          At this point, there is almost no downside.

          The border is as close to being “Open” as it has ever been.

          The coconut telegraph is saying” venga, amigo, no problema.”

          I was born and raised in southern California and spent 25 years in the USMC.

          I built a great house on a beautiful beach down here and beat the crowd that will be moving down here from the U.S.

          I could never afford to live on the beach in California.

          Down here with the pension of a retired Marine Colonel I am part of the One Percent.

          If you can’t beat em join em.

          • D_C_Wilson

            Ah, so I’m just supposed to take a few anecdotes from you as “data” now?

            But you didn’t answer my question. “Everything” is not a specific answer.

          • LightningJoe

            “Every year, more and more people make it into the U.S. illegally and fewer and fewer come back.”

            Either one or the other of these two assertions is false. Because the numbers put out on deportations for illegal entry are rising over Obama’s term in office.

            If more “make it in” illegally, then why the increase in deportations?

            If fewer of them come back, then HOW the increase in deportations?

      • beulahmo

        “…It ain’t that complicated.”
        I hear this so often from today’s conservatives. It’s the “What, me worry?” throwout line for what today’s conservatives have truly become — a sad reincarnation of the Know-Nothing Party.

        • LightningJoe

          “…It ain’t that complicated.”

          It’s also a conniving invitation to you, to exclude complexity in your perceptions and responses.

          They’ve already done that, is why they now think things are simple. It’s sheer revelation how “simple” things get, when a person simply refuse to consider them in a complex way. They are now quite addicted to seeing everything as “simple,” when in fact it IS all quite complicated.

          And they aren’t about to go back.

          Sorry, but complexity is a necessity, when tracking complex interactions.

  • Toolymegapoopoo

    One of your best columns ever, Bob. It fuels my hate-fire for the day.

  • ranger11

    I’d probably like to see a douchey remake of “Apocalypse Now”. As long as they keep the Brando role. As far as the photo op; I don’t think Obama wanted to be a part of this one.

  • ruth crocker

    To me the picture suggests that the manly way to handle this problem (or any problem) is to blast away at it. Not at the kids, just at something. Think it through, see what’s required, ask for funds for judges – wimpy! Be macho, take action, anything, as long as you look tough. Saves $3.7B too, which would be used for something that might not require enough tough guys with guns.

  • Eykis

    Perfect Bob, muy Excelente!

  • David L.

    Awesome, awesome takedown, Bob. Still cleaning up the milk ejected through my nostrils (can’t eat cereal and read stuff like “rounds bigger than their penises” or “humping the thing”).

    Bra-vo.