Oops! Rick Perry Completely Implodes Republican Immigration Field Hearing

One of the big pieces of “news” to come out of Thursday’s Republican Anti-Immigrant Antiques Roadshow was the fact that Governor Rick Perry (R-Texas) wants the National Guard to “secure our border” from the 50,000 children who are streaming across it from Central America, but less reported is Perry’s complete faceplant when Democratic Congressman Filemon Vela (D-Texas) asked him the simplest of questions.

After an hour or so of testimony from Perry, Vela completely hobbled the Republicans’ main talking point on this immigration crisis by asking Perry “If we had a thousand National Guard at our borders, as you propose, how would that have prevented the influx of these unaccompanied children who, for all practical purposes, are surrendering themselves?”

Perry hesitated, then launched into a verbal dance-off with himself. “The power of boots on the ground cannot be overstated,” Perry began, then proceeded to demonstrate that it also can’t really be explained. Instead of describing how the National Guard could repel unaccompanied children from the border, Perry instead went off on several tangents about criminal activity, neighborhood watches, and concluded by saying there would be no influx of children because that’s what he thinks.

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Later in the hearing, Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Calif.) helped Perry further destroy the Republican narrative on the current immigration crisis when he asked Perry to recall the dates on which the DACA policy and the Trafficking Victims Protection Act (which created special rules for unaccompanied children from non-contiguous countries) were enacted, since these are the policies that are supposedly to blame for drawing these unaccompanied children to our borders, years after the fact. Perry interrupted Swalwell to again insist that the real problem, and the only solution, is National Guard troops on the border.

“During our briefing this morning, we were told that this is not a matter of catching them,” Swalwell said. “These children are running into open arms, so wouldn’t additional border patrol agents only increase the number of open arms that these children are running into?”

“I think I addressed that earlier when I said that when you have the National Guard, when you have a law enforcement effort,” Perry began, before abruptly remembering that he hadn’t actually addressed anything and darting over into a tangent about diplomacy, declaring that Mexico won’t secure its southern border because it doesn’t trust us?

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“Border security” is the conservatives’ magical immigration amulet, the go-to demand they make whenever they need an excuse not to do anything, but it simply doesn’t apply in this case, as Perry’s response makes painfully, awkwardly clear. these kids aren’t slipping through, they are being apprehended. They aren’t being drawn here by policies that were enacted years ago, they are being driven from Central America by their desire not to be murdered.

Perry’s got an answer for that, too, though, because if we allow this to continue, maybe angry anti-immigrant Americans will start doing some murdering of their own, right? Is there some other way to interpret this?

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“If we don’t do that, I will suggest to you that the American people will address this in a number of different ways, electorally and otherwise.”

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  • Cindy

    He may not be as smart as some, but his intentions are well meant. When these children start making their way in to your states, your cities, you will see the difference in your communities, your resources for seniors will slowly disappear, the schools will get over whelmed, activities cut to cover the cost of hiring interpreters, more teachers, what about the health of your children and your grandchildren while these children are playing side by side yours, these children have never been immunized, right now we are finding, TB, chicken pox, hepatitis, scabies, head lice, and then there is food stamps, health care, housing, education, and trust me the crime rate WILL also go up, you will be told that your children must learn spanish, and to get a job you will be required to be bilingual, wages will go down, but everything else will continue to rise. They will start making more and more demands on your communities, I work with and have worked with many Hispanic/Latino people, they say they still have families in Central america, and all these reports of being threatened is why they are coming here, is untrue, they have been coached and very well apparently as to what to say to border patrol and to anyone else that will listen. Yes this country was built on immigrants, the ones that came through Ellis island years ago are a prime example, but these people came here, stayed here, without any government assistance, they either worked very hard or starved, they helped build our roads, buildings, cities, worked hard, became citizens, held an allegiance to the United States and to no other country, unlike these people that are coming here. They are and probably have already stolen the identities of someone you know that has passed away, they steal the identities of new born children, they have no morals, they have little respect for human life. One woman here ran a red light, hitting and killing 4 of 6 teens, and while one of the teens cried out for help this woman ran away and left them, later to find out she was in the United States illegally, do your own research and you will see the amount of crime that is done by illegals in this country. It is sad that you all are making jokes of a man that all he is trying to do is help, and what he is doing YOU the ones making jokes, he is looking out for you as well and this is all you’ve got to do is make jokes, lets see how funny you think it is when all the things I have mentioned above start to happen in your communities, I live it everyday, its not a joke, there is nothing funny about any of this.

  • Franzell Panky

    How about this policy?
    Anyone who promotes ‘open Borders has to…..

    Live on the border with no special security……
    Has to fund Illegal immigrants being forced on the USA taxpayer by those who promote their resettlement without consequences for breaking the law….according to their CURRENT NET WORTH……..
    I see so many loud mouthed morons saying “But its Children” when did the USA become the world’s day care center funded by the American taxpayer who is struggling affording their own daycare costs?
    You fucking hypocrites want open borders? YOU PAY FOR IT!

  • Terrence Jones

    Where did this joker go to school? Lets make sure we don’t send any of our kids there…ugghhh

  • ResCogitans

    When truth is untenable, resort to fantasy. Boots on the ground, indeed.

  • Saren Arterius

    You know, I see RWNJ types on Facebook trying to organize military-style operations (their words) to go down to the border and I wonder, to do what, exactly? You’re just gonna start killing people I guess? It’s all fun and games until somebody gets indicted.

  • brian199511

    I hope to God southern Republicans develop understanding and intellect and vote disgraces like this jerk out of office.

  • alwaysthink

    California and AZ have built the walls. In Texas the border is in the middle of the Rio Grande River and that presents a problem. If you build a wall you then create a huge flood control problem. The Rio Grande Valley can get big rain storms and already gets some pretty bad floods. A Wall would be a disaster in the making.

    The real question seems to be, is the border secure? Well, if it wasn’t then we couldn’t be catching all these families. The big Defense Contractors (Lockheed, Hughes, Raytheon) have been creating all kinds of surveillance systems for years now.

  • alwaysthink

    The bottom line for good ol’ Rick is that Texas depends upon the dirt cheap labor the undocumented provide. The last thing he and the good ol’ boys who support him want to have happen is for these folks to get some kind of documented status.

    • Cindy

      Not sure where your getting your information from, but I work for a man that pays ALL his workers the same rate Whites and Hispanics alike and its well above what most of you are probably getting paid. And if you really did your research, you would find that illegals are not only in Texas but all over the country. I never voted for Perry, but I do respect his effort for him trying to do SOMETHING about the border which no other governor has tried to do at this point, what about CA? have they stepped up? its not the bottom line, its the typical steriostyping that goes on in this country. I guess that if its said enough times i must be true. Its not the wages that bring the companies here, its the tax breaks, did you know that Texans don’t have to pay a state tax? Your ignorance is truely showing. You can sit there and make fun of him all you want, but just remember, that what he is trying to do is protecting your families as well, so go ahead insult him, just shows what kind of person you are, and this is to all you other people that have insulted him. And lets not forget Nancy Pelosi, that said….
      ” Hamas is a humanitarian group of people”…..lol

  • ryan

    Me put on glasses. Me smart now.

    • LightningJoe

      Me respect you for that… Me believe what you say…

  • lawrence090469

    Still on the pain meds for his back?

  • MaryJane Mccarthy James

    Clearly this idiot got his job because of his looks. He appears to have a IQ of 100 or less.

    • Howienica

      Just curious.

      Do progressives have anything to offer but personal attacks and name calling?

      • jam

        Progressives don’t need to say anything at all….Perry does it all to himself. Did you watch the sex education video? Doesn’t that video cover the bases? He wounds himself politically just opening his mouth, (unfortunately not fatally wounded, but wounded non the less.)

      • KarenJ

        Oh, please, tell us how Rick Perry is the Great White Hope for the Republican Party. Tell us how his claim to have created more jobs than any other governor is not a balloon full of hot air (lotsa jobs, nearly all minimum wage, forcing workers to apply for government assistance — which, in Texas, is grudgingly and scarcely available).

      • 624LC .

        Do wingnuts have anything to offer except a warped sense of history and racist stereotyping ?

      • LightningJoe

        Sure, but picking on those who announce themselves as idiots is just TOO entertaining…

  • mellowjohn

    don’t remember who said it, but “Rick Perry ‘combines the energy of Fred Thompson with the sincerity of John Edwards, the intellectual rigor of Sarah Palin, the economic acumen of Michele Bachmann and the humility of Rand Paul—all delivered in the style of Will Ferrell’s George W. Bush impression.’”

    • http://www.cbdfw.com/PaulaDenmon Paula Denmon

      Well…whomever said it…I love it. This Texan has had as much of his stupid ass as I can stand.

  • agentS

    Once again Rick Perry walks into a wood chipper. Maybe he needs one of earphones like Bush supposedly wore when debating Kerry.

  • D_C_Wilson

    That went over about as well as Rick Perry’s attempt to justify abstinence-only education.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngiJhmoFKkw

    Amazingly, there are still places (like Fox and Friends) where this doof is considered serious presidential material.

  • missliberties

    Great work Tommy.

  • Gunnut2600

    I wish you honkies would build that wall already. 30 feet high and with machine guns. Lock that border down. Then we can all laugh when US society grinds to a fucking hault as wuite people are too lazy to work dirty jobs. Where the hell you people gonna eat?

  • nellcote

    Aren’t governors in charge of the national guard in their respective states? Why doesn’t Perry just go ahead and send them down?

    • Fill2

      I don’t think he wants his state to have to pay for it.

  • Victor_the_Crab

    I wish Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert weren’t in the middle of a two week break. Rick Perry writes his own comedy material, whether he realizes it or not (and he doesn’t).

    • KarenJ

      Again, reminiscent of Sarah Palin. How is it voters in Alaska and Texas elected two such morons? Are voters in those two states THAT stupid?

      • http://www.cbdfw.com/PaulaDenmon Paula Denmon

        Some of us are. Some of us are working like hell for BATTLEGROUND TEXAS. Turn Texas Blue.

  • Tommygun

    Sure Perrywinkle is a blithering idiot, but when ever he says something that doesn’t make sense (every time he opens his mouth), the FOXbot baggers see the Clark Kent glasses, tell themselves “he must be smart ’cause he’s a wearin’ them nerdy glasses”, decide he must just be talking over their heads and nod along in agreement. They’re like all of the people in the kingdom in, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”, only in this case they’re pretending their Governor possesses intellect instead of clothing.

    • dbtheonly

      Aren’t those the “brain damage” glasses, Karl Rove was speaking about last month?

      • Tommygun

        Now, now, be fair. He can’t damage something he doesn’t have.

        • dbtheonly

          I see it a another sterling example of: IOIYAR.

        • nathkatun7

          Absolute winner!

  • wds

    Is it just me, or did Gov. Goodhair actually put make-up on???? and those glasses do nothing to make him look intelligent … intelligent is as intelligent does – and he doesn’t!!!! [head bangs desk]
    In my best Texan accent …. “well, bless his heart” [which we all know what that means!!!]

    • AttilatheBlond

      Looks like some injections to smooth out that creased skin too.

    • KarenJ

      Sarah Palin probably lent him her oldest daughter, who’s graduated from “skin school” recently. She’s probably the one who’s been giving Sarah Botox injections and feeding her those magic pills that have gotten rid of her mother’s butt, leg, and arm fat (and muscle too).

  • icarrion

    Stupid. Fucking. Idiot

    • missliberties

      Best friend of business. And also friends with the good Christians.

    • Howienica

      Brilliant response.

      • 624LC .

        Yes it is. Perry is just that simple

  • hanadora444

    I thought Perry was talking secession a while back. What’s taking him so long? Doesn’t he realize that if Texas forms it’s own country, many of those dreaded “illegals” will avoid going there. They want into the rich, prosperous USA, not some tiny backwater country like Texas.

    • Tommygun

      I have to chuckle whenever I see these racists, the majority of whom are descended not from Mayflower passengers, but from immigrants who were no less poor & desperate than those they seek to demonize as “illegals”, protesting in towns & counties in Texas & California that still retain the names from when they were Mexican territory.

      • nathkatun7

        I do too, Tommy!

        I asked a very angry and passionate promoter of the “English Only” initiative in California if he and his buddies planned on renaming all the counties, cities and streets in the State that had Spanish names. The poor guy who resided in an upscale San Diego suburb named La Jolla, where Mitt Romney built a mansion with a car elevator, had no coherent answer. His answer: the Spanish names had been adopted into English, which automatically made them English names. To him, La Jolla, La Mesa, El Cajon, San Diego, Laguna, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, San Jose, Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Sacramento, etc., are all English words now.

        • dbtheonly

          I’m thinking of Potomac, Pontiac, Miami, Dakota, Illinois, and Susquehanna.

          None of them English.

          • http://www.cbdfw.com/PaulaDenmon Paula Denmon

            And I live in WAXAHACHIE TEXAS

          • dbtheonly

            And how about Baton Rouge & Coeur D’Alene?

            Too “frenchified” for Rick Perry?

          • LightningJoe

            Ketchikan, Alaska

        • mellowjohn

          does he pronounce the name of his hometown “la hoya” or “la jolla”?

          • nathkatun7

            He pronounces it “la hoya,” but he is convinced that it’s now an English name.

          • KarenJ

            Magical thinking. Right out of Lewis Carroll’s most famous writing.

          • nathkatun7

            Indeed!

          • LightningJoe

            So if “English” pronunciation rules allow pronouncing La Jolla as La Hoya, then isn’t the damage already done (according to this guy)? Then why slam the barn door now?

          • nathkatun7

            Here is the issue, genius, La Jolla is still a Spanish name and not an English name.

          • LightningJoe

            Genius here (according to you)…

            THAT IS WHAT I WAS SAYING… but the guy said that it was “English now.”

            Don’t preach to the preacher.

        • theabroma

          I have a further suggestion. Let’s give him a title, too: El Pendejo.

    • Michelle Evans

      Shut up about our state. Jackwagon punk.

      • LightningJoe

        “Jackwagon”

        … what language is that from?

  • David L.

    Hipsteredneck “Three Agencies” McDouche strikes again. Thank goodness he’s out next January, too bad his successor Abbott will be about as bad (maybe marginally less dimwitted, but he’s the guy who described his current job as TX AG this way: “I go into the office in the morning, I sue Barack Obama, and then I go home”).

    Texas, the day you finally turn Blue can’t come soon enough.

  • gocart mozart

    His handlers gave him glasses to make him look smarter, they should have instead prevented him from opening his mouth to make him sound smarter.

    • HilaryB

      Yep. Make him wear a muzzle.

      • Jason E

        No way let him speak and speak and speak!

    • a_p_cast

      he should have been given a ball gag with those glasses, see no evil speak no evil,