The Daily Banter Mail Bag: The Most Important Questions Ever Asked

In this week's edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Bob, Ben and Chez respond to questions first used by Bernard Pivot.
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In this week's edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Bob, Ben and Chez respond to questions first used by Bernard Pivot.
james_lipton

In this week's edition of The Daily Banter Mail Bag, Bob, Ben and Chez respond to questions first used by Bernard Pivot.

The question from reader "James L":

1) I submit to you the questionnaire that was used by Bernard Pivot:

What is your favorite word?

Ben:

'Banter'. I sort of have to say that though.

Chez: Dad (I was gonna answer "jism", mostly because it's just fun to say, but sentimentality wins the day.)

Bob: "Monkey." Invariably funny in any story or situation.

What is your least favorite word?

Chez: "Selfie."

Bob: "Regret."

Ben: C**t. (But without the stars...)

What turns you on?

Chez: A foul mouth. An anything-goes attitude when it comes to humor.

Bob: Dark Mediterranean femininity. My wife, basically.

Ben: Flat stomachs, dark hair, and a sense of humor.

What turns you off?

Chez: Ideologues. Stridency.

Bob: Pretentiousness.

Ben: Someone who takes themselves too seriously. 

What is your favorite curse word?

Chez: Any variation of "fuck."

Bob: "Motherfucker."

Ben: Bollocks. I fucking love that word. Fuck comes second. 

What sound or noise do you love?

Chez: Besides my kid laughing? Keys on a keyboard being tapped. Women's heels clicking on pavement.

Bob: The helicopter rotors during the Tour de France.

Ben: I love the sound of the ocean. And Sigur Ros. 

What sound or noise do you hate?

Chez: The sound of two idiots arguing overtop of each other on cable news.

Bob: Fire alarms.

Ben: Mark Levin's voice. It makes me want to strangle him

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Chez: I'd like to be a writer. I'm not sure I'm one now.

Bob: Gettysburg Licensed Battlefield Guide.

Ben: I have always wondered whether I could have made it as a professional boxer. Not sure I had the stomach for it though. It's a painful game.  

What profession would you not like to do?

Chez: Politician -- or maybe a rodeo clown.

Bob: Anything third-shift.

Ben: Anything where I have a boss. 

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

Chez: "I wouldn't have believed it either."

Bob: "Nicely done."

Ben: "Don't worry, we have a coffee machine"