Fox and Friends Sunday host Tucker Carlson and Townhall columnist Kurt Schlichter got together this weekend to discuss Schlichter's recent whitesplainer on privilege, and the result will make you spit your free-range-double-soy-chai-latte-chino all over your fair-trade hemp computer keyboard.
You have been warned.
Carlson hosted Schlichter so they could chop it up over Schlichter's meta-ironic "I Checked My Privilege, And It’s Doing Just Fine" column, a hilarious exercise in white male obliviousness that Tucker thought was "fantastic."
Carlson's contribution to the conversation, aside from tending to the raging diamond-cutter that Schlichter's column gave him, consisted mainly of opining that white privilege is a "racist attack":
During the interview, he quotes a paragraph from Schlichter's column, but curiously scoops out a big chunk from the middle of it. Here's what Carlson said:
The plain fact is that what they understand to be “privilege” is really just what regular people understand is a “consequence.” It is a consequence of hard work, of delaying gratification and of sacrifice. It’s not a function of skin tone or the number of vowels in your name; it’s a function of character.
And here's the full paragraph from Schlichter's column (emphasis mine):
The plain fact is that what they understand to be “privilege” is really just what regular people understand is a “consequence.” It is a consequence of hard work, of delaying gratification and of sacrifice. No one came and bestowed this country upon us. We built it. Some of us died doing so. If we have privilege, it was earned at Bunker Hill, Gettysburg and Normandy. It’s not a function of skin tone or the number of vowels in your name; it’s a function of character.
That observation, and Schlichter's agreement with it, acts as a helpful decoder for the racism in Schlichter's column, in which he studiously avoids actually using the word "white" in order to fig leaf the other people he talks about, whom he describes this way:
dole-devouring layabouts who form so much of the Democrat voting base
liberal constituencies (who) don’t just work harder instead of demanding more money from those who actually produce something.
What they say is privilege is what we say is a reward for doing more with our lives than waiting for Uncle Sucker to refill our EBT cards.
“Privilege” is a result of not being a human sloth, of not doing drugs, of not having kids we can’t afford them, and of not living our lives as a practical exercise in chaos theory.
This comedy routine relies, of course, on a complete ignorance of what white privilege actually is, which is the entire point of white privilege.
Schlichter thinks it means he became a lawyer simply because he has Bavarian ancestors, not because, for example, he got to go through life not having to be worried about being shot down in his own driveway.
Yes, Kurt, isn't it a shame that no black people worked hard to build this country, and maybe even died doing so? Where were the black people during Gettysburg, I mean, besides fighting the white people who went to war to keep them enslaved?
The dirty secret here is that Tucker Carlson is actually not an idiot.
He knew that Schlichter's history lesson would expose his ignorance, so he left it out. Tucker Carlson doesn't really think there's no such thing as white privilege, or that obesity is a sign of prosperity among the poor, or that women have it better than men in the workplace.
He just knows that white ignorance sells, especially on Fox News.