THE MORNING BANTER: Sterling Fights, SoCal Burns, Dinklage Rules, and Does Coldplay Suck?

Another Friday is here, but this one is special. By the end of the day the United States will have an entirely different government. Here are a few headlines and internet goodies to pore over while you wait to celebrate the dawn of a brand new America.
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Another Friday is here, but this one is special. By the end of the day the United States will have an entirely different government. Here are a few headlines and internet goodies to pore over while you wait to celebrate the dawn of a brand new America.
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Photo: Rick Loomis/Los Angeles Times

Another Friday is here, but this one is special. By the end of the day the United States will have a new government, because right now tens of old, angry white men dressed in tricorn hats and riding Hoverounds are descending on Washington, DC. And when President Obama looks out his White House window and realizes what he's up against, he'll have no choice but to surrender himself and be tried for crimes against the Constitution. I for one welcome our new incontintent overlords.

Anyway, here are a few headlines and internet goodies to pore over while you wait to celebrate the dawn of a brand new America.

1. It's official: Donald Sterling isn't going down without a fight. Grab your courtside seats for this one (unless of course you're black, in which case please stay home).

USA Today: Donald Sterling Tells NBA He Won't Pay Fine

2. True, we don't have snow and ice to deal with for five months out of the year, but you don't have to worry about hell opening up under your feet and destroying entire neighborhoods.

NBC News: (Images) Wildfires Engulf Homes In Southern California

3. "I am a proud gun owner. I’m also a single father. I do not want to ban guns but I do want to protect my son from the dangers they pose."

The Daily Beast: A Former Navy Firearms Instructor and Proud Gun Owner On Why We Need Common Sense Gun Control

4. I've found that if you drink often enough, you kind of feel like you're always lucid dreaming. Still, this is interesting and will probably come in handy for you at some point.

Digg: How To Lucid Dream

5.Atlas was admittedly a really good song, the best thing Coldplay has released in almost ten years. And maybe there's hope for the band now that Gwyneth Paltrow's succubine influence has consciously uncoupled itself from Chris Martin -- with Martin already trading up immeasurably, according to reports. But the battle over whether Coldplay should ever be considered a decent band will always rage on.

Grantland: Overrated, Underrated, or Properly Rated: Coldplay

6. And if you haven't seen this yet you should. If you've already seen it, you'll want to see it again, if for no other fact that it's Dinklage. And he's the coolest motherfucker on earth.