THE MORNING BANTER: Credit Card Breach, Final Solitude, Female Penises, and a Boy Band Smackdown

It's Friday and that means your weekend is finally staring you right in the face. Here are a couple of headlines and internet goodies to pass the time until you can make your escape:
Avatar:
Chez Pazienza
Author:
Publish date:
Social count:
2
It's Friday and that means your weekend is finally staring you right in the face. Here are a couple of headlines and internet goodies to pass the time until you can make your escape:
Screen Shot 2014-04-17 at 9.08.03 PM

It's Friday and that means your weekend is finally staring you right in the face. Here are a couple of headlines and internet goodies to pass the time until you can make your escape:

1. As if the lives of Michaels' customers weren't already shitty enough.

ABC News: Up to 2.6 Million Cards Breached at Michaels

2. "Death really did not matter to him but life did, and therefore the sensation he felt when they gave their decision was not a feeling of fear but of nostalgia."

The New York Times: Gabriel García Márquez, Conjurer of Literary Magic, Dies at 87

3. Looks like somebody got drunk and wound up in the Meat Packing District.

The Verge: Scientists Discover the Animal Kingdom’s First ‘Female Penis’

4. In a related item, the stuff I've been quietly posting online has been noticed and I've been hired as the new Twitter feed manager for U.S. Airways.

New York: How a Middle-aged IT Guy From Peoria Tweeted His Way Into a Writing Job on Late Night With Seth Meyers

5. 14 years later, the dreaded Y2K bug finally will destroy humanity -- only it'll come in the form of a dance-off

The Huffington Post: Joey Fatone: Backstreet Boys Are On Tour Because 'They Just Need The Money'

6. And what the hell -- because it's Friday here's an upbeat ear-worm you'll be humming all day. New music from Charli XCX. From the soundtrack to The Fault in Our Stars, this is Boom Clap.