THE MORNING BANTER: Attack on al Qaeda, Cutting Up "American Psycho," Everybody Hates Chez, and Nietzsche Writes for Upworthy

Welcome back to Monday. Here are a few internet goodies to soften the blow of having to climb back into the hamster wheel.
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Welcome back to Monday. Here are a few internet goodies to soften the blow of having to climb back into the hamster wheel.
Screen Shot 2014-04-20 at 9.24.46 PM

Welcome back to Monday. Here are a few internet goodies to soften the blow of having to climb back into the hamster wheel.

1. That's gotta hurt.

CNN: Source: 'Massive' Attack Targets al Qaeda in Yemen

2. More and more it's looking like creepy Uncle Terry is fucked. And not the way he wants to be.

Gawker: Terry Richardson Reportedly Offering Vogue Photo Shoots For Sex

3. Bret Easton Ellis's American Psycho is one of the most scathing and wickedly satirical indictments of the immorality of greed that modern literature has produced. The movie amped the madness up to 11 and remains an eminently quotable piece of surrealist filmmaking. But what's really going on in Patrick Bateman's head? Let the debate begin.

The Dissolve: The Reality of American Psycho Isn’t as Compelling as the Conversation

4. It's one thing to have someone disagree with you. It's another thing entirely to have someone spend 3,000 words disagreeing with you. Seriously, if there's anything you can say about the guy who wrote this War & Peace-length screed against me because of my ongoing mockery of Suey Park, it's that he's committed. Or maybe he should be. You be the judge.

Respect the Blankie: Suey Park Out of Context, or How a Bunch of White Guys Proved That #CancelColbert Was Necessary and Didn’t Even Realize It. Part Three: Chez Pazienza’s Double-Filtered White Whine

5. There's an old Chris Hardwick bit from his stand-up routine that attempts to tell a "German joke." It goes like this: "Knock, knock. Who's there? Peaches. Peaches who? Peaches have no intrinsic value and there is no god." Just keep that in mind for the next couple of minutes.

Something Awful: Friedrich Nietzsche Is Hired To Write Headlines for Upworthy