THE MORNING BANTER: Stealing a Jet, Offensive Issa, Anti-Vax A**holes, and the Case for Columbo

Friday's finally here and it's almost time to rush out the door to kick off your weekend. Here are a few headlines and internet droppings to pass the hours until you can bail.
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Friday's finally here and it's almost time to rush out the door to kick off your weekend. Here are a few headlines and internet droppings to pass the hours until you can bail.
Screen Shot 2014-03-13 at 7.53.32 PM

Friday's finally here and it's almost time to rush out the door to kick off your weekend. Here are a few headlines and internet droppings to pass the hours until you can bail.

1. One of the most interesting theories about the disappearance of Flight MH370 is that it may have been stolen with the intention of "using it later." But how would you steal a 777 if you wanted to? Well, glad you asked.

Slate: Could the Missing Malaysia Airlines Plane Have Been Stolen?

2. A really surprising little spectacle on the floor of the House yesterday, all of it aimed at condemning Darrell Issa for cutting off Rep. Elijah Cummings's mic last week during the 893rd hearing into the fake IRS scandal.

The Huffington Post: New Resolution Condemns Darrell Issa As 'Offensive'

3. Behold the potentially deadly impact of thousands of stupid, irresponsible parents and their unfailing adherence to Google Search Science. For the last time: Vaccinate your fucking kids.

The Daily Beast: Thanks, Anti-Vaxxers, You Just Brought Back Measles in NYC

4. Here's some news you can use if your car ever goes into a canal or you wind up seated next to a guy who just crapped himself on a New York City subway.

io9: The Secret to Holding Your Breath for 20 Minutes

5. Just one more thing...

The Toast: The Case For Making Columbo America’s Doctor Who