THE MORNING BANTER: Malaysia Flight Mystery, CPAC Stupidity, Surprise Prince Show, and the Teacher Sex Tape

It's Monday and here we are again. Hope you survived the weekend; some of us barely held on. Here are a few internet goodies to keep you occupied this morning.
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It's Monday and here we are again. Hope you survived the weekend; some of us barely held on. Here are a few internet goodies to keep you occupied this morning.
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It's Monday and here we are again. Hope you survived the weekend; some of us barely held on. Here are a few internet goodies to keep you occupied this morning.

1. The mysterious case of a missing Malaysia Airlines jet is very likely going to end exactly how you'd expect, but what led to its disappearance is still anyone's guess right now.

CNN: New Leads Explored in Hunt for Missing Malaysia Airlines Flight

2. This year's CPAC has been, as it always is, a clown show. But of all the insane claims and wild incriminations made during the conference, this has to be my favorite. By far.

Mediaite: Bachmann at CPAC: Conservative Movement Is ‘Intellectual’ at Its Core

3. This is a piece that's six years old but it's being rerun because it provides a pretty good picture of what Vladimir Putin is all about. Right now, that's obviously very important.

Esquire: Power: The Definitive Story of Vladimir Putin

4. If I ran into this Kubrickian terror I'd literally shit my pants.

The Verge: "Space Replay" Is an Obsidian Nightmare from the Future

5. This show was officially announced to the general public on Twitter Saturday morning and the only reason I didn't go is that I was sure it would be sold out in seconds -- that there would be a line around the block at the Palladium. Turns out a half-capacity crowd showed up, with tickets available only at the venue for a hundred bucks each. I am kicking myself for not taking the chance and being rewarded with this.

Spin: Prince Electrifies, Exhausts Audience at Epic Four-Hour Hollywood Show

6. And meet every boy's new favorite teacher at Forest Heights Middle School in Little Rock.

Buzzfeed: An Arkansas Teacher Accidentally Played Students Her Sex Tape