Quote of the Day: CNN’s Obsession with Flight 370 Reaches Peak Stupid

“A small black hole would suck in our entire universe, so we know it’s not that. A Bermuda Triangle is often weather, and Lost is a TV show.”

Mary Schiavo, the former inspector general for the U.S. Department of Transportation, responding last night to CNN’s Don Lemon, who asked her whether a “black hole” or some supernatural force may have swallowed Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

Welcome to Peak Stupid at CNN. It’s one thing to spend so much time talking about something for which there are no facts that you have no choice but to just make stuff up, but asking open-ended questions and entertaining wild theories that are completely ludicrous at face value make you no better than, well, Alex Jones. There are already plenty of idiots out there who think that President Obama blew up the plane or an e-bomb may have been detonated onboard, making the jet invisible. Conspiracy theories and left-field speculation can thrive in almost no oxygen these days — and for some they’re the default position whenever a lack of information stating otherwise is present — so to provide cover and sanction for that kind of nonsense on a network that was once as revered as CNN was is unconscionable.

Just because Flight 370 hasn’t been found doesn’t mean the laws of physics have somehow been upended; it just means they haven’t found the plane yet in a search area that’s the size of Australia. But in CNN’s ongoing crusade to make itself into a reputation-ending global laughingstock in the name of a short-term ratings boost, the network will now put its name behind anything any idiot viewer can dream up and tweet without misspelling @CNN, with poor, dumb Don Lemon forced to swallow every ounce of his dignity and actually ask a former official for the United States government and seemingly lucid human being whether Clem in Baton Rouge may be on to something when he thinks it might be aliens or a rift in time-space that absconded with the jet.

I know that just a couple of days ago I said that CNN doesn’t care whether anyone openly mocks its Commander Queegian obsession with this damn story, since those media-savvy smart-asses don’t represent the audience the network is pitching to. But at some point it would be nice if somebody working between the four walls of CNN Center spoke up and defended the network’s honor against the damage being done to it from the inside out. Because what we’re seeing right now is a fucking embarrassment. You wanna know where that black hole is? It’s at CNN, swallowing everything and allowing nothing to escape it — not even intelligent thought or good judgment.

  • wahwah

    I’m sorry, but that Don lemon guy has to be the most retarded reject I’ve ever seen on CNN, and they’re have been quite a few. I cannot fathom how they haven’t dumped him with all the completely deranged things he says, and the complete idiot like confused look on his face. A total Forrest Gump in action.

  • OC_DC

    It got dumber, they have a psychic now!

  • Sabyen91

    “A small black hole would suck in our entire universe”

    Say what?

    • GeauxGhoti

      She must have graduated from the O’Reilly school of supernatural sciences, better known as “fiziks 0.01>

  • Victor_the_Crab

    I know that just a couple of days ago I said that CNN doesn’t care whether anyone openly mocks its Commander Queegian obsession with this damn story, since those media-savvy smart-asses don’t represent the audience the network is pitching to. But at some point it would be nice if somebody working between the four walls of CNN Center spoke up and defended the network’s honor against the damage being done to it from the inside out. Because what we’re seeing right now is a fucking embarrassment. You wanna know where that black hole is? It’s at CNN, swallowing everything and allowing nothing to escape it — not even intelligent thought or good judgment.

    Or as CNN president Jeff Zucker proudly boasts: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

  • JozefAL

    Maybe we need people to read the following story from about 15 months ago:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/28/flight-19-and-amelia-earh_n_2377908.html

    Maybe the people who claim we “could” find what happened to both the crew (and planes) of Flight 19 and Amelia Earhart if we just had the money could be pressed into looking for Flight 370. It’s not like DECADES have passed since Flight 370 vanished into the ether. What I find funniest about the article is how it mentions how the Titanic was found by a “private expedition” without pointing out that it wasn’t really a mystery of WHERE the Titanic went down as much as how much of the ship might have survived. The Titanic had hundreds of survivors who were rescued, mostly from within hundreds of FEET of the ship’s sinking. Let’s get a “private expedition” find the remains of Earhart’s plane or the Flight 19 planes with absolutely NO clue as to where to look and see how long it takes.

    To the best of my recollection, no one had problems locating the Challenger’s remains or, for that matter, the remains of any airplane or ship whose location was reasonably known at the time of blowing up or vanishing simply because the location was “reasonably known” when whatever happened happened. Compare that to the Mary Celeste case–the ship’s whereabouts are no mystery but what happened to the PEOPLE remains a mystery.

  • captnkurt

    Hey CNN, as long as you’re looking to fill the time with non-news, maybe you could mix things up a little and let your viewers know that Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generalissimo_Francisco_Franco_is_still_dead

  • msq

    This is a big problem with the Malaysia Flight 370 coverage: it’s already been described as the anti-journalism. It is whatever you want it to be precisely because there’s too little to work on. As a result…you’ve got crud like CNN’s endless coverage.

    • formerlywhatithink

      “It is whatever you want it to be precisely because there’s too little to work on.”

      I’m no reporter, but if I were covering the Malaysia Flight 370 story, here’s what I would say:

      “Malaysian Flight 370 still has not been found and international search efforts continue. We will alert you as soon as we learn something new. In other news….”