The Proposed Oklahoma Satanic Monument Is Revealed, and It’s Everything You Hoped It Would Be

FILED TO: Headline Articles

At the beginning of last month we told you about a plan by a group that represents possibly the greatest ongoing troll campaign in existence, the Satanic Temple, to erect a monument to Satan on the steps of the Oklahoma state capitol. The idea would be to put it within spitting distance of the Ten Commandments stone tablet memorial which is already in place, just as a show of smart-ass subversive defiance against the law that allowed for a Christian religious symbol on state property.

Now, the design of that proposed monument has been revealed. You can see it for yourself above. It’s seven-feet-tall, made of concrete, and features a goat-headed Baphomet seated under a pentagram and flanked by two smiling children. Because kids love Satan.

According to the Satanic Temple’s appropriately named spokesperson, Lucien Greaves, “The statue will serve as a beacon calling for compassion and empathy among all living creatures. The statue will also have a functional purpose as a chair where people of all ages may sit on the lap of Satan for inspiration and contemplation.”

I like that. Function as well as eternal damnation.

You’ll be shocked to learn that despite the obvious hypocrisy it exposes, Oklahoma lawmakers are demanding that the Satanic Temple’s request not be honored. Says Republican State Representative Earl Sears (I am not making that up): “This is a faith-based nation and a faith-based state. I think it is very offensive they would contemplate or even have this kind of conversation.”

But see, that’s exactly the point. Isn’t this a faith-based monument?


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  • jmhall2369

    Well if you take the name “Santa” and scramble it around you get Satan. Satan Claus is coming to town. “Hello, child. What would you like to sacrifice to the lord Satan?” Just ridiculous.

  • Zen Diesel

    Smells like a lil bit of Red State Hypocrisy….lol.

  • John Mosey

    What about building a statue to the Flying Spaghetti Monster as well?

  • Jack Washington

    This is not a faith-based monument because those promoting it are not Satanists but instead are AntiChrists, which is not a religion or faith based but only a protest against Christianity!

    • That River Gal

      Please tell me Poe is involved here…….

      • Christian Oswin Pond

        I dont really care, but im just commenting to say,


  • Xeknos

    “This is a faith-based country. … Well, only our faith. Everyone else’s faith can go screw itself.”

  • joselitus_maximus

    Well, they have a lot of work to do, as other religion’s priests are waaaaay ahead in pedophily, money landry, ties with organized crime, warmongering, etc…

  • mrbrink

    Welcome to the realm of Satan. Rituals, chanting, spells, speaking in tongues and flash photography are permitted, but there will be a surcharge for symbolic human sacrifices and incestuous orgies of 7 or more. Please pardon our angel dust. On and on South of Heaven, everyone! Now if you step this way, we’ll proceed with the eternal damnation of your soul and refreshments.

  • condew

    Looks like a good candidate for funding via Kickstarter.

  • Mike Gesing

    I it ever gets built, I will personally travel to the Oklahoma state capital and drape an American flag over the statue’s shoulders.

  • Arcnor

    It’s always entertaining to watch conservatives tie themselves into knots trying to justify pushing their religious and philosophical views on everyone else while at the same time denying the rights of others to express themselves. Screw doublethink, we’re getting into triple- and quadruple-think at this point.

    • Christopher Foxx

      Screw doublethink, we’re getting into triple- and quadruple-think at this point.,

      Quite the opposite. It’s zero-think.

      Their not engaging in any kind of thinking at all.

      • Seth Thomas Howell


        • Christopher Foxx

          Yeah, My fingers get those wrong all teh time. (See what I did there.)

          It’s really not worth commenting on.

  • D_C_Wilson

    So, when you sit in Satan’s lap, do you get to tell him what you want in exchange for your soul?

  • kfreed

    Shocked, suprised… I don’t see how that’s still possible. Tea Party Caucus legislators, who also happen to be current or former members of the Libertarian Koch-sponsored American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) tell us they are unable to conduct the business of Congress without the “Supernatural hand of God” (VIDEO: Virginia Call to Payer Day):

    “Coincidentally” one of the “Honorees” on the site happens to be Republican Tea Party Religious Right “Christian Nation” “historian” David Barton: “America Is A Nation Under God”:

    • kfreed

      Addendum, Chez: Barton’s Bunk continued…

      “While Barton is best known for his claims about the religious intentions of the nation’s founders, he has become a full-service pundit for the far-right in Tea Party America. He pushes predictable positions on abortion, gay rights, and the judiciary. But he is also attacking environmentalists working to combat climate change. And he is a key figure for conservative strategists who would love to forge an even stronger political merger between the Tea Party and Religious Right movements between now and the 2012 elections. *****Barton’s contribution: claiming that a radically limited role for the federal government was God’s idea, and that Jesus and the Bible are opposed to progressive taxation, minimum wage laws, collective bargaining, and “socialist union kind of stuff.” (Identical to the Libertarian agenda, wouldn’t you say?)

    • JozefAL

      I’m sure you didn’t realize it but you probably hit it right on the head with your typo. “VIDEO: Virginia Call to PAYER Day.”

  • kfreed

    Hysterical. And then again, not so much: “This is a faith-based nation and a faith-based state.” Not exactly. So why is that the Tea Party mantra?

    People for the American Way: “Barton’s Bunk: Religious Right [“Christian Nation”] ‘Historian’ Hits the Big Time in Tea Party America”

    “Barton has been profitably peddling a distorted “Christian nation” version of American history to conservative religious audiences for the past two decades. His books and videos denouncing church-state separation have been repeatedly debunked by respected historians, but that hasn’t kept Barton from becoming a folk hero for many in the Religious Right. His eagerness to help elect Republicans has won him gratitude and support from national as well as state and local GOP leaders. Former senator Sam Brownback, now the governor of Kansas, has said that Barton’s research “provides the philosophical underpinning for a lot of the Republican effort in the country today – bringing God back into the public square.” Indeed, Time Magazine named him one of the nation’s 25 most influential evangelical Christians in 2005…”

  • Seth Thomas Howell

    It’s my understanding that Pope Francis has said that there is no eternal Hell in which the souls of the lost burn, but rather that Hell exists within each person in the form of self condemnation. those of us with reason shouldn’t be striving to aggravate those without. that kind of spiteful thinking is counter productive to the greater groovyness of the galaxy. the monument in question should be allowed, as there must be balance in all things, and also to help those who don’t understand how the ten commandments standing on state property offends those who don’t share their faith.

    • Christopher Foxx

      those of us with reason shouldn’t be striving to aggravate those without. that kind of spiteful thinking…

      It isn’t spiteful, the goal isn’t to aggravate. Granted, that’s what folks opposed to religious freedom, like Sears, would like you to believe. They want you to think that those demanding equal treatment are actually, somehow, tying to oppress you.

      But it just ain’t so. A heterosexual couple’s right to marry is not affected in any way by recognizing gays also have a right to marry. Sears’ ability to worship and believe as he wishes isn’t in any way affected by allowing others the same freedom. And pointing that out, standing up and saying “we want equal treatment” is not in any way done from spite.

      Sears and his ilk have to paint themselves as the victims. It’s not true, but it’s the only way they can justify their victimization of others.

      • Seth Thomas Howell

        as a gay man who is very close to getting married, i couldn’t agree more. the “spiteful thinking” comment was directed towards some of the other comments. i should have been more clear. my point is that we should be more interested in helping those who don’t agree with our right to equality understand that it’s inevitable and not dangerous to their way of life at all using reason and argument. trying to “stick it to” republicans doesn’t accomplish much.

        • Christopher Foxx

          trying to “stick it to” republicans doesn’t accomplish much.

          Well, there is some satisfaction to be had from it. :)

          But I do get, and agree with, your larger point. What’s really needed is to change the hearts and minds of the bigots, and that’s more thoroughly done by showing them their fears are unfounded than by holding them up to ridicule.

          But pointing out that they have a double standard, that they’re being hypocrites is part of that changing their minds. It’s important that those who are oppressed stand up for themselves and insist on exercising the same rights that the oppressors try to claim for themselves. It won’t change otherwise.

  • aynwrong13

    Personally I will not be happy until a red state erects a 50 ft monument to Cthulhu.

  • BigShinyNosehair

    If only the goat-headed Baphomet was wearing a rainbow flag lapel pin, we could be further entertained by watching Republican State Representative Earl Sears’ tiny head explode.

  • neil allen

    Is that a Catholic priest and two of the children that he is raping?

  • Damon Arial

    All your gods are belong to us

  • moelarryandjesus

    It could use a conspicuous erection.

    • IrishGrrrl

      AND have prodigious breasts and perhaps even a vagina, and color Baphomet’s skin dark brown….let’s combine everything they’re afraid of into one glorious monument.

      • Arcnor

        They’d also have to work out a way to include a hammer-and-sickle symbol in there somewhere, and include Baphomet handing out welfare checks to racial minorities while robbing Good White Christians at the same time. Might as well go all the way and include all their sexual, racial, political and economic fears in one go, after all — there might not be another chance to do so in publicly-displayed-statue form.

        • JozefAL

          Except, dontcha know, all the most prominent Satanists are (gasp) WHITE (gasp).

          Gee, the Black Muslims were more on top of it than they realized when they kept talking about “white devils.”

        • John Novak

          Just try not to scare any more low income white males into voting Republican. Democratic policies are good for us, if Obama is here to “check my privilege” he’s certainly doing a horrible job of it.

          I mean if I wanted my privilege checked I would vote Republican. Those are the guys who would leave me homeless and hungry. I’m not saying you should talk nice to us white males, but Obama actually isn’t that scary, in fact he might have extended my life by a couple decades due to medical care reform. Some activists however, especially liberal online bloggers, say things like “yeah white boy, you gonna be extinct, Obama is Pres. and there’s nothing you can do about it”. I live in a black neighborhood, and trust me, if an entire neighborhood wanted me to go “extinct” that badly, I don’t think I’d be typing this right now. All of the scary talk comes from wealthy white people who usually live in very isolated segregated campus neighborhoods in California or Oregon, where ideas of “social justice” are spread around in closed off little groups of wealthy white people. Oh wealthy white people, you know not what damage you do.

          Sometimes I wonder if the people who type this stuff are secretly working for the Republican Party and trying to get my vote. Either way, I’m not going to fall for it. But a lot of low income white males will and do. Strategically speaking, it seems very suspicious that we wouldn’t do away with a religious fundamentalist, backwards couple of states that want to secede. Why do we clutch onto the south? Is it because the Democratic Party needs a “bad guy” (Republican Party) to continually win half the time, setting the bar lower for mainstream neoliberal Christian statist Democrats?

  • Plum Dumpling

    LOL. I love it. I bet the Fundys are have fits over this.


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