Here’s Kirk Cameron Griping About the Grammys and Pimping His New Movie, and Your First Look at Nicolas Cage in “Left Behind”

You know, for centuries the Christian God was really the biggest thing going when it came to art — and what that era gave us was Da Vinci’s “Last Supper” and Michelangelo’s “Creation of Adam” on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. This is very likely because in the 1500′s the notion of God still filled men with an indescribable sense of awe and wonder.

Fast forward five hundred years and what do we have in the way of Christian art and culture? Kirk Cameron’s new direct-to-digital movie. In case you missed it, Cameron seized on the grotesque display of anti-family heathenism that was the Sunday night’s Grammys to go on a silly Facebook tirade that was also a cleverly disguised excuse to pimp his new family-friendly film Mercy Rule. The movie stars him, his wife and, inexplicably, Bas Rutten, who’s apparently redeemed himself in the eyes of God since appearing in Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Let’s throw it to the Growing Pain:

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First of all, even with the gay wedding gimmick, if your sensibilities are so delicate that they can be offended by anything that happens at the Grammys, it’s a wonder you’re even able to leave the house every day. Katy Perry looking like Hot Topic threw up all over her, a desperate septuagenarian dressed like gay Colonel Sanders, and, well, fucking Macklemore, are weak tea even by the Grammys’ traditionally worthless standards. Second, do yourself a favor and watch the preview for Cameron’s movie. Not only is it genuinely the most inept excuse for a “trailer” you’re likely to see this year from a technical standpoint — pro-tip to all would-be YouTube fan trailer creators: if you’re basically turning clips from a movie into a music video, none of the action you see onscreen should involve anyone speaking because it looks terrible — it gives you no idea what the movie is about. There’s baseball. There’s a suburban white family. There’s a preening Kirk Cameron. Roll credits.

Meanwhile, in a related item there’s this: your first look at Nicolas Cage in the big budget take on Left Behind, doing the role first played nationally by, yes, Kirk Cameron. Cage has eaten a cockroach, had bees poured all over his head, been warned of the end of the world by aliens, and played Jon Voight’s son (twice), so really doing a crappy Jesus pic is right in his wheelhouse.

Behold:

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Michelangelo, all of this is not.

(via Christian Nightmares)

  • Mickey Bitsko

    Nicholas Cage once again in sappy and bored “The Family Man” mode? Shoot me.

  • Gunnut2600

    I got a RAGING hardon for this remake. If Wicker Man has proven one thing, its that all remakes need to have Nic Cage eating scenery. Plus the source material is fucking crazy. I fully admit, I read two of the books and WOW! Its just wrong…everything. From the goofy theology that is barely based on the Bible, to the main characters who are horrific people (which is really fucked up because clearly the authors are projecting themselves), its a HILARIOUS read.

    This could be…the PERFECT STORM of crap. The Citizen Kane of schlock. GOD I CAN’T WAIT!!!!

  • Sabyen91

    This “Christian” destroyed the career of a woman because she posed nude. He is the lowest form of scum.

    And really, Nic, do you need a paycheck that badly?

  • PinkamenaPanic

    There’s that creepy soulless look in a nutjob’s eyes again…

    And I don’t mean Nic Cage, either.

  • feloniousgrammar

    With the right director, Cage can be a brilliant actor. I hear he has spending problems, which might explain why he’ll take any role he can get. He’s phoning it in here, which probably does justice to the script and plot. It’s amaze-balls that people in this series use their credit cards and make phone calls during the tribulations— go Jesus.

  • condew

    Some movies are so bad that only the objections of the conservative Christians make them of any interest whatsoever. This movie doesn’t even have that going for it.

  • repugnicant

    ‘He’s always trying to shove it down my throat’?

    • RilesSD

      hahahaaaaaa

    • JozefAL

      Think he objected as much when Boner did that on “Growing Pains”?

  • Badgerite

    I don’t consider it an “assault on the traditional family” so much as an expansion. As far as I’m concerned, and I think God is a bigger person than me so probably is way ahead of me on this, the more people who can partake of family values, the better.

  • Richard_thunderbay

    Cameron is a smarmy liar for Christ.