Here's Kirk Cameron Griping About the Grammys and Pimping His New Movie, and Your First Look at Nicolas Cage in "Left Behind"

For centuries Christian art meant Michelangelo and Da Vinci. Now it means Kirk Cameron and Nic Cage.
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For centuries Christian art meant Michelangelo and Da Vinci. Now it means Kirk Cameron and Nic Cage.
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You know, for centuries the Christian God was really the biggest thing going when it came to art -- and what that era gave us was Da Vinci's "Last Supper" and Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam" on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. This is very likely because in the 1500's the notion of God still filled men with an indescribable sense of awe and wonder.

Fast forward five hundred years and what do we have in the way of Christian art and culture? Kirk Cameron's new direct-to-digital movie. In case you missed it, Cameron seized on the grotesque display of anti-family heathenism that was the Sunday night's Grammys to go on a silly Facebook tirade that was also a cleverly disguised excuse to pimp his new family-friendly film Mercy Rule. The movie stars him, his wife and, inexplicably, Bas Rutten, who's apparently redeemed himself in the eyes of God since appearing in Grand Theft Auto IV: The Ballad of Gay Tony.

Let's throw it to the Growing Pain:

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First of all, even with the gay wedding gimmick, if your sensibilities are so delicate that they can be offended by anything that happens at the Grammys, it's a wonder you're even able to leave the house every day. Katy Perry looking like Hot Topic threw up all over her, a desperate septuagenarian dressed like gay Colonel Sanders, and, well, fucking Macklemore, are weak tea even by the Grammys' traditionally worthless standards. Second, do yourself a favor and watch the preview for Cameron's movie. Not only is it genuinely the most inept excuse for a "trailer" you're likely to see this year from a technical standpoint -- pro-tip to all would-be YouTube fan trailer creators: if you're basically turning clips from a movie into a music video, none of the action you see onscreen should involve anyone speaking because it looks terrible -- it gives you no idea what the movie is about. There's baseball. There's a suburban white family. There's a preening Kirk Cameron. Roll credits.

Meanwhile, in a related item there's this: your first look at Nicolas Cage in the big budget take on Left Behind, doing the role first played nationally by, yes, Kirk Cameron. Cage has eaten a cockroach, had bees poured all over his head, been warned of the end of the world by aliens, and played Jon Voight's son (twice), so really doing a crappy Jesus pic is right in his wheelhouse.

Behold:

Michelangelo, all of this is not.

(via Christian Nightmares)