See If You Can Figure Out What the F*ck Rick Santorum Just Said About Healthcare

Seriously, I've been staring at this quote, trying to parse it for about half-an-hour now and I can't figure out what the hell he's going on about.
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Seriously, I've been staring at this quote, trying to parse it for about half-an-hour now and I can't figure out what the hell he's going on about.
santorum_derp


Here's Rick Santorum earlier today:

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“If we have a system where the government is going to be the principal provider of health care for the country, we’re done. Because then, you are dependent on the government for your life and your health…When Thatcher ran for prime minister she said — remember this, this is the Iron Lady — she said, ‘The British national health care system is safe in my hands.’ She wasn’t going to take on health care, because she knew once you have people getting free health care from the government, you can’t take it away from them. And the reason is because most people don’t get sick, and so free health care is just that, free health care, until you get sick. Then, if you get sick and you don’t get health care, you die and you don’t vote. It’s actually a pretty clever system. Take care of the people who can vote and people who can’t vote, get rid of them as quickly as possible by not giving them care so they can’t vote against you. That’s how it works.”

Who can argue with that?

Seriously, I've been staring at this quote, trying to parse it for about half-an-hour now and I can't figure out what the hell he's going on about. I know it's about Obamacare, and he's struggling to make a point about government-run healthcare (the U.S. doesn't have government-run healthcare, by the way) and how voters will typically decide in favor of making sure they have free healthcare -- probably a jab at poor people on Medicaid.

But then this is insane: "And the reason is because most people don’t get sick, and so free health care is just that, free health care, until you get sick. Then, if you get sick and you don’t get health care, you die and you don’t vote."

What?! Most people don't get sick? Is there a race of Kryptonians out there who never get sick? Are they Bruce Willis from Unbreakable? And how does not getting sick contribute to free healthcare for these clearly immortal people? Then the getting sick and dying, and then not voting sentence is authentic frontier gibberish.

I need a drink.