No Megyn, Jesus Was Not White and ‘Santa’ Did Not Exist

Santa Claus, also known as Saint NicholasFather ChristmasKris Kringle and simply “Santa“, is a fantasy figure with legendarymythicalhistorical and folkloricorigins who, in many western cultures, is said to bring gifts to the homes of the good children on the night beforeChristmas, December 24.

- Wikipedia entry on Santa Claus

Fox News host Megyn Kelly discussed a Slate article on her show last night that argued that Santa Claus should no longer be portrayed as a white man. The sharp tongued blonde also asserted that “Jesus was a white man too”.

“By the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white but this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa,” said Kelly. “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change.”

If Megyn means that Santa was definitely white in the way that Superman could definitely fly, and only Christopher Reeves could play Clark Kent, then she certainly has a point. Personally, I like to think of Santa Claus as a Samoan looking chap, who delivers presents in a vehicle like this:

hiltonmaldives_santa3

But Goddammit, this can’t be true because white people invented him, and white people rule the world!!!

Which brings us to Megyn’s comments on Jesus. “Jesus was a white man, too,” she said. “He was a historical figure. That’s a verifiable fact — as is Santa. I just want the kids watching to know that.”

Other than the fact that his real name was ‘Yeshua’ and he almost certainly looked like a modern day Palestinian (if he actually existed in the first place), Megyn is absolutely right! Why? Because white people stole the story of Jesus invented him, and white people rule the world!!!

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    • Mauricio Castellanos

      People of the Levant, which is a crossroads of the world, are more likely to be a mixture of races and it is more likely that Jesus was more African or Asian than “White” which is a subset of Caucasian usually reserved for people of Nothern European stock. If he actually existed, he was probably nothing like the iconic portrait “Head of Jesus” done by Warner Sallman in the 40s, which hangs in millions of U.S. homes to this day. Another famous Christian icon is the Black Madonna of Poland, which begs the question, how can Jesus be white if his mother was black?

      • Anna

        Wow. Talk about ignorance. The Black Madonna of Poland became black over time, due to soot. It was not intentionally painted black.

        And no, Palestinians and Jews are considered white. Where you got the view that “white” is only reserved for “Scandinavians” is beyond me. White usually refers to anyone from Europe, Middle East and North Africa, so Jesus and Palestinians would come under that category.

        That said, I am a Jew and my coloring is far more akin to the coloring of the picture of Jesus you posted than the linked in picture provided in the article.

        Both sides are extremely ignorant. It is shocking that a Jew like Ben Cohen would continue to promote anti-Semitic stereotypes of Jews. That we are all hairy, short, fat and big nosed with horns. If you read in between the lines that is what the far left and the article is saying.

        Both Ben Cohen and Megyn Kelly are wrong.

        Is it inconceivable that Jesus, if he existed, would have had dirty blonde hair and blue eyes? No. Not at all. It is not unusual to meet modern day Jews and Palestinians with such coloring. I have dirty blonde hair, green eyes and skin so fair that it burns in the sun. My ancestry is 100% Jewish. Is it also inconceivable that Jesus had olive skin, dark hair and dark eyes. No. The fact is that Jews and Palestinians have coloring similar to Italians, Spaniards and Greeks. Blondism occurs, though at a lower rate, among Mediterranean and Middle Eastern types. To suggest that this is not the case is profoundly ignorant. To suggest that only “Northern Europeans” a narrow group of people which encompasses Northern Germany, Ireland, England and all of Scandinavia only exhibit blondism completely ignores the other groups of Europe who also exhibit blondism. Also, none of you have ever actually met a Swede, because the Jesus in many of these depictions looks far more like a lighter Mediterranean type than a Scandinavian type.

        It should also be mentioned that Scandinavians are known to have blue black hair as well and so are the Irish.

        It says in the Hebrew Bible that King David was a redhead. But you ignorant folk probably think red hair only occurs among the Irish. It is also a fairly common trait among Jews of various backgrounds.

        Also, according to an old Arab legend, Jesus had red hair and brown eyes…….so……..yeah.

        All of you look like idiots.

    • JackFrancis

      Did you expect real, accurate, correct information from FOX? Did this surprise you? What idiots you must be.

    • villemar

      All I know is that Akim > Megyn Kelly
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oz04BwDgRkI

    • CL Nicholson

      Watching Fox News create full tirade based upon a self-important outrage porn from Salon.com is just a meta level of stupidity. Proof our media culture is mostly built to entertain and confuse Middle America. It’s certainly not about informing the public and enhancing our public discourse. Carry on.

    • Badgerite

      As we all know, Jesus was actually a Southern Baptist who only hung out with the Jews to fulfill scripture.

    • leemoder

      Megyn started early today.
      gluk-gluk-gluk-gluk…hic.

    • Christopher Foxx

      “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change.”

      And, true to form, a wingnut calls for people to be tolerant of their intolerance.

    • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

      While Megyn is correct that Jesus was “white”, it’s a useless term at best because it covers someone like me with light and soft hair and light eyes who is allergic to the sun all the way to dark haired, dark eyed people with afro textured do’s that tan phenomenally well. It’s an outdated term. We’d do better to refer to phenotypes because of their accuracy and specificity.

      Now, with that technicality out of the way….Megyn is an ass. She’s an ass because she’s upset to think that someone else has the nerve to envision Jesus or Santa in their own image. It offends her to think that people might think they could be anything else. So, it’s how offended and irritated she is by the very thought that makes her a bigot and an asshole. To debate the other details, misses the point.

      • 624LC .

        I totally agree. Why the fuckidy fuck fuck is anyone spending time parsing what that blonde bubble-headed bint meant or didn’t mean? I swear to Jebus, that woman is what you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot. The only thing she did useful on that network was hike her skirt up and sally forth to confirm the reelection of Obama.

        • Christopher Foxx

          Why the fuckidy fuck fuck is anyone spending time parsing what that blonde bubble-headed bint meant or didn’t mean?

          Agreed. No parsing is needed. Her bigotry is clearly stated.

          • Anna

            And you are not bigots by insisting that Middle Eastern people all look the same? Thank you for your open-minded bigotry.

            • Christopher Foxx

              And you are not bigots by insisting that Middle Eastern people all look the same?

              No, we’re not bigots because we quite clearly insist everyone doesn’t look the same. Thank you for your righteous idiocy.

            • Anna

              Yes, you are a bigot. You are pissed that Megyn Kelly said Jesus was white because you think all Jews look like big nosed, money grubbing, horned aliens.

            • Christopher Foxx

              I say (repeatedly, very directly and with emphasis) that “we quite clearly insist everyone doesn’t look the same.” and yet you claim that means I think all Jews look the same.

              Can’t say I’ve missed your ridiculousness and stupidity for the past 3 months, Anna. I’m at a loss as to why you felt it necessary after all this time to come back and demonstrate it again.

            • Anna

              Then why are you bitching that Megyn Kelly said that Jesus was white. Obviously you don’t classify Jews as white. I do. So does she. You are pissed. You sound like a nazi.

            • Christopher Foxx

              Then why are you bitching that Megyn Kelly said that Jesus was white.

              Did you actually read the article that you’re adding acomment to?

              A native in the Middle East 2000 years ago would not be Caucasian, he would have had a darker skin tone as folks from Arabia tend to do. The modern depictions of Jesus that show him as a pale skinned “white” man are inaccurate. Whoever Jesus was, his complexion didn’t match that of, say, Megyn Kelly. As the headline for this article says, “Jesus Was Not White”. Certainly not as Kelly means it.

              So Jesus wasn’t “white”. So what? Have “whites” been such a wonderful group that it’s a club folks should be clamoring to join? In what way does acknowledging that folks from the Middle East have darker skin that folks from further north and Europe cause some kind of problem?

              As for whether Jews are “white” or not, I’m sure many are. And some are not. I’m sure there are Jews of every skin tone. To suggest that Jews should be classified as white ignores the reality in a number of ways.

              But, then, I suppose that’s to be expected since you’re not interested in what I’ve really said or really believe. You want to play offended victim so you’ll find some way to see me as offensive, even if you have to make stuff up to do it.

            • Anna

              Wow. The stupid is really amazing here. Let’s see if we can rip your dumb assumptions apart:

              Did you actually read the article that you’re adding acomment to?

              “A native in the Middle East 2000 years ago would not be Caucasian, he would have had a darker skin tone as folks from Arabia tend to do. ”

              And you know this how? Do you have scientific evidence to prove this? The place of what is now known as Israel/Palestine was ethnically diverse. You may have had dark skinned individuals but it would not have been inconceivable to have fair skinned individuals. Arabians and Levantines are two different people.

              The modern depictions of Jesus that show him as a pale skinned “white” man are inaccurate.

              Again. Do you have empirical evidence that this is so?

              “Whoever Jesus was, his complexion didn’t match that of,
              say, Megyn Kelly. As the headline for this article says, “Jesus Was Not White”. Certainly not as Kelly means it.”

              I would really like to know how you would possibly know that? You do know that Middle Eastern groups come in a variety of skin colors/hair colors and that yes, they come under the term “caucasian.” The fact that you don’t like that definition is not my problem.

              So Jesus wasn’t “white”. So what? Have “whites” been such a wonderful group that it’s a club folks should be clamoring to join? In what way does acknowledging that folks from the Middle East have darker skin that folks from further north and Europe cause some kind of problem?

              Because, as a Jew, it is ignorant. Not all people from the Middle East have darker skin. Not all people from Europe have light skin. You are insisting that everyone in the middle east has dark skin and that everyone in Europe is blonde haired and blue eyed when that is not true and you are basically basing this off a stereotype, a stereotype which Hitler pushed to discriminate the Jews. This is where things become dangerous. All Caucasian groups have the potential for light skin, blue eyes and blonde hair and vice versa. Heck, even some non Caucasian groups pop up with light skin and blue eyes. The fact that you think Jesus was not “white” has no basis on the fact that he would have been considered “white/caucasian” in modern terms. What is wrong with being “white.” Nothing. You seem to be racist towards white people.

              As for whether Jews are “white” or not, I’m sure many are. And some are not. I’m sure there are Jews of every skin tone. To suggest that Jews shouldvbe classified as white ignores the reality in a number of ways.

              The Jews are an ethnic group who can trace their origins back to the Middle East. This has been proven by DNA studies. In fact, it has shown that they are closely related to Palestinians. Yet, what’s this, there are blonde hair blue eyed Jews and Palestinians. How can that be? It doesn’t fit your stupid little ignorant world view of how people from certain parts of the world should look.

              What do you consider a dark skinned Frenchman or Sicilian? Are they suddenly magically white because they were born on the European continent to you? Please define “white.” Do you think it is just people from Scandinavia? How the hell do you know Megyn Kelly’s ethnic background to assume that Jesus would have or would not have had the same coloring as her. Again, I am a Jew with very similar coloring as Megyn Kelly.

              “But, then, I suppose that’s to be expected since you’re not interested in what I’ve really said or really
              believe. You want to play offended victim so you’ll find some way to see me as offensive, even if you have to make stuff up to do it.”

              You are not offensive, just profoundly ignorant. What’s more, you try to prove that you are not ignorant by pushing dumb stereotypes of people. And let me leave you with some pics of Middle Eastern people to show why your view is stupid and based on a dumb ass stereotype.

              Assyrian boy

              Egyptian Protestors

              Two “Arab” Men

            • Christopher Foxx

              Wow. The stupid is really amazing here.

              I agree. Yet, despite that self-revelation I suspect you’ll continue it anyway.

              [reads remainder of comment]

              Yup. I was right.

            • Anna

              In other words, I won the argument.

              In the United States, a Caucasian is defined as anyone who can trace their origins to Europe, North Africa or the Middle East. You can stop embarrassing yourself.

              I understand your point perfectly.

            • Christopher Foxx

              My point was always that Jesus was not the light skinned person Megyn kelly imagines him to be.

              That you utterly failed to understand that at every turn, while insisting that you do, merely means you’ve been consistent, not correct.

            • Anna

              And do you have indisputable proof that Jesus was not light skinned? I know your point. You just can’t accept the fact that I find your assertions absurd based on bigotry, prejudice and ignorance. Again, not all Middle Eastern people are dark skinned. You are ignorant, but you cannot seem to get that through your thick skull. You are as dumb as a rock.

            • Christopher Foxx

              You have indisputable proof he was? Of course not. But don’t let that stop you from accusing me of all sorts of things I’m not.

              Saying “You can’t be certain of that, and I don’t agree with you.” doesn’t provide you with the self-righteousness and superiority you need. So you have to make up shit like “You are a bigot and anti-semitic Nazi.” in an weak (an ineffective) effort to hide the fact that you have no actual way to show that what I’ve said is wrong.

            • Anna

              No sweepea, you are the bigot here. So, maybe you should have rephrased your argument by saying that in your opinion, Jesus was olive skinned. Fine. But when you insist he liked like a or b and then say it’s fact without any evidence to back up your claim and then go on a weird rant about white people is when you sound just as ignorant as Megyn Kelly.

              I never claimed that Jesus looked like a and b. You were the ones criticizing another person for insisting that Jesus looked one way while insisting Jesus another.

              As evidence of modern Palestinian and Jews, Jesus could have very well had blue eyes, green eyes or brown eyes as diversity of hair and eye color is just as widespread among Semites as it is among Europeans.

              You insist that he looked like a because you think all Middle Eastern people have the same coloring.

              So let’s say Jesus was born in Russia. Would you insist that he couldn’t possibly have a darker complexion based on stereotypes you may know of Russians? It’s ignorant and stupid.

              And if anything, in the world of human skin color, many middle eastern people would come under light-medium. Ask any sub Saharan African what color Arabs are and they would classify them as white.

            • Christopher Foxx

              Project much?

            • coleton beliveau

              The arguement has turned to speculation with a touch of misinterpretation, if you read earlier, anna, and I would suppose you did, considering you requoted his statement word from word starting at “as for whether jews are “white” or not, im sure many are, and some are not. Im sure they’re jews of every skin tone” he clearly states an understanding long before you started blindly bashing (“blindly” in a sense of: missing the point of his arguement. Not blindly in a sense of: getting your facts straight) your basically argueing with somebody who is saying “ok, i agree with this” but, still you continue to argue for the sake of (im not quite sure) for it would be ignorant to say “you do it to feel right”, or “because you are dislexic/ignorant/an idiot”, and so on and so fourth etc. Etc.

              Perhaps im a fool for not being knowledgable on a subject such as religion, and choosing to join this arguement. Perhaps im a fool for even typing this, because i know christopher already knew this 2 months ago. I guess enlightening one (anna), is contradicted by wasting the time of the other (christopher) and the third party readers (myself, and many other viewers)

            • Christopher Foxx

              your basically argueing with somebody who is saying “ok, i agree with this” but, still you continue to argue

              Yes. This.

              It’s not enough that I agree with much of what she said, but I (I guess) have to, what?, genuflect myself in deference?

    • S in DC

      Ben a few things.

      Santa, aka Saint Nicholas did exist and is a real saint. However he originally had nothing to do with Christmas. The issue is that Saint Nicholas, the winter holiday, various pagan rituals, Jesus, and other stuff have all been mashed together into the holiday we call Christmas to the point where none of it has all that much in common with the original items. We sort of tossed it all into a blender and consume what comes out.

      As for Jesus. For starters Palestinians aren’t Arabs. People from the Levant are generally classified as Caucasian anyways, aka they’re white. So while Jesus certainly was a darker dude with dark hair, and not a blond haired blue eyed Swede, calling him white is more accurate than calling him Asian or African.

      This isn’t to speak up for Megan Kelly. All it proves it that Christmas is sort of the cat vomit of holidays. You know the things that went into it, but the end product is a mess and has no resemblance to the key parts. It also points out that many conservatives racial and religious animosity to people from the Levant is even more bizarre than people are willing to admit. She’s being smug and stating things that are technically correct, but completely misrepresent the issues at the core of this.

      • Razib_Taif1

        I wish we could move past the term ‘white’ and ‘Caucasian’ and use ‘Eastern Euroasian’ – it would be more accurate and emphasize the recent common ancestry of all Eurasians (still just a sliver of the human gene pool that still resides in Africa and that left Africa almost yesterday in geological terms).

        • S in DC

          I’m half what most people classify as white (Dutch) and half Jewish Magyar which is “white” but one of those odd Eastern European groups that doesn’t look, talk, or act like many think white people do. Thus I… qualify as white… helps that I look Dutch as hell.

          It’s really not worth giving a shit about.

          • Anna

            How can you be half Dutch, Half Jewish and Half Magyar? Do you mean you are Half Dutch and a quarter Jewish or half Dutch and a quarter Hungarian?

        • Christopher Foxx

          Vic Androzzi: Oh come on Shaft, what is it with this black shit, huh?
          Vic Androzzi: [Holds a black pen up to Shaft’s face] You ain’t so black.
          John Shaft: [Holds a white coffee cup next to Vic’s face] And you ain’t so white either, baby.

          http://i.stack.imgur.com/arpVH.jpg

          • 624LC .

            LOL! Ok, it’s official – you are too much, jive turkey! ;) Love it!

            • Christopher Foxx

              Damn straight, brotha!

          • leemoder

            “You threw my man Bumpy outta a second story window. That’s some cold shit, Shaft!”

      • http://drangedinaz.wordpress.com/ IrishGrrrl

        “Christmas is sort of the cat vomit of holidays”

        That’s going on my “most amusing quotes list of 2013″.

      • Trish Hamme

        Well said !

        “Christmas is sort of the cat vomit of holidays.” Best line ever ! LOL !

      • Anna

        Ben a few things.

        Santa, aka Saint Nicholas did exist and is a real saint. However he originally had nothing to do with Christmas. The issue is that Saint Nicholas, the winter holiday, various pagan rituals, Jesus, and other stuff have all been mashed together into the holiday we call Christmas to the point where none of it has all that much in common with the original items. We sort of tossed it all into a blender and consume what comes out.

        Not the point of the conversation.

        As for Jesus. For starters Palestinians aren’t Arabs. People from the Levant are generally classified as Caucasian anyways, aka they’re white. So while Jesus certainly was a darker dude with dark hair, and not a blond haired blue eyed Swede, calling him white is more accurate than calling him Asian or African.

        True, but again, it is not unusual to meet fair European looking Palestinians. So again. You are wrong. Again, the Jesus that has been depicted looks NOTHING like a Swede.

    • Nick L.

      I am not sure that the Jesus of the new testament existed either

      • Christopher Foxx

        As presented in the new testament, no, he didn’t. As real as the Lincoln in Vampire Hunter,

        • David Latona

          enjoyed the comparison!

      • S in DC

        Jesus existed. However the bible is largely bullshit and people telling stories to convey a point, and has been rewritten several times.

        • Nick L.

          I imagine many men named Jesus existed. Not sure that there is much in the way of independent evidence that the one described in the New Testament ever did.

          • villemar

            You aren’t going to get much in the way of independent evidence from back then but most historians and scholars of that era do believe that someone did exist who basically was a wandering speaker with some followers who caused some type of ruckus as the Temple and was executed by the Romans for something subsequent to that. All this is the same relative time frame as described in the NT.
            However adherents of the Myth theory that there was no historical value in any of it and that the stories were made up out of whole cloth are a very small minority. I think the Myth theory violates Occam’s Razor and some of these adherents actually get into conspiracy theory territory,

            • Nick L.

              There were any number of wandering prophets back then. I guess it comes down to how loosely one can define a real life to fit a legend. If the necessary distinguishing details are something like male, Jewish, wandering lunatic then there will always be those types of donkeys on which to pin our supernatural ‘tales’.

    • Razib_Taif1

      One point – modern day Palestinians are usually ‘white’, in sense that they are part of the same phenotype as southern Italians, Anatolians, etc. Its strange, if you’re from Cyprus and christian – we assume you’re white. If you’re from the levant and muslim – nope, not white! Btw, I’m from a town on the Afghan border just inside of Iran and yes, I think of myself as ‘white’ and was told to declare myself as white for the census, etc. Cross the border and suddenly, the blue-eyed Afghans are ‘Asian’ (whatever the fuck that means in terms of phenotype or race). In reality – there is broad Indo-European swath of physical ”caucasoid’ features from the Ganges to Ireland (w/ exceptions of course).

      Also, the idea that modern Palestinians are ‘Arab’ is also a function of Muslim colonization. These people are almost the exact same Greek speaking Byzantine gene-pool that was colonized into an identity switch. Had Islamic/Arabization never occurred, we would have the same assumptions of ‘whiteness’ that we give to the cypriots, sicilians and greeks.

      • Anna

        Exactly! Thank you!

        I know it should not matter, but it drives me crazy when people categorize Muslims as their own race. Like Christians, there are black, white, Asian and you name it Muslims. They are not a race. Why a Lebanese Christian is considered white but not a Lebanese Muslim is beyond me. People are ignorant. Yes, a Nigerian Muslim is definitely not white, but a Palestinian Muslim or anyone from the Levant and even Arabs come under “white” in my view.

        Why a Sicilian who is sometimes darker than a Palestinian is considered white by some idiots, but not a blonde Palestinian makes no sense to me. time, such

        I have never considered Middle Eastern people or some Central Asian groups (like Afghans) as non-white. There have been an influx of some Afghan Pashtuns in my area, and we also have tons of Polish immigrants. Some of the Pashtuns look very similar to the Polish people. I have mistaken some of them as Polish immigrants.

        Yes, there are darker complexioned Pashtuns and Nuristani people, but I still consider them white.

        Hazara’s I would consider Asian and they look Asian. Yet all of them are from “the Muslim world” and some fools would consider all of them “Arab”, which is not a race but sometimes an ethnic and linguistic designation.

        Just because I speak English does not mean my ethnicity is Anglo-Saxon.